stand on my own feet at the same location, when i fell.

Thanks to the Aunty May who commented to boy dat i m a pretty ger if i doll up, i might consider going for a make over!

Happy birthday gor!

Other den dat, i must really say, my good day was a little damaged by boy.

I reached the chalet, and he is playing mahjong. 1st he say dat i tap his shoulders n head, causing him to lose the games, when he alrd had bad luck since the night before.

We went to play pool. I told dem dat i duno how to play, coz i really dint play pool for 3 years le, it was after my break up with royston, dat i dint play at all le. But i gave a try. They were amazed by some ways i play. Pls lah, if i really duno how to play, i sure duno how to position my hand la. The games was ok :)

Den we went roller blades, i dint wan to try on de, coz 2 years ago i tried wif xav n mich, i ended up falling on my butt before standing up, bad experience.

I curb my phobia by giving it a try again. I stand up without falling. Allan is a clever boy man, he can do skating well even when its his first try. However, me unlucky stupid ger, got scolded by my boy. Even after numerous attempts, i still couldnt get the hang of it.

At least I tried again, and gain some confidence in moving quite a distance. Dat boy keep saying me. I told him i dun wan to play le, coz i was alrd feeling back ache. I mean BACKACHE, not strains on the back. I duno if he understands the difference.

He scolded me for giving up. I dint wan to give up too. My fear, my aches on my back, my knees, my wrists... I tried my best. But to him, i m still a useless woman, who dun give a damn in trying once i fell down once.

So i proved to him, by skating, and falling. I fell, and i stand on my own feet myself. He tried to help me, i shouted, " u get lost!" Since u dun belief wat i had said, so y bother to help me? I skated a bit, and tried my best, fell 3 to 4 times, he tried to tell me wat to do, i shouted " u shut up" and i cover my ears.

I dun wan to hear, y should i, when u dun listen to me?

Mayb u meant good, wanting me to do the best i can, not knowing i have alrd tried my best le.

Allan n ur cousin heard our quarrels, i noe their face changes, but so what? Things have been different, if u attempt to understand my tryings.

My heart closes on u, i duno y. I teared on the bus back. I tried to understand u, by letting u skate wif ur cousin instead of sending me home, even if u really rmb dat u promised to send me home today.

I duno wat to tell u. Feel emo today. Sorry wh n ken, cant go ice skate wif u guys tml, coz i dun feel like. I think i will be gg for more skates again tml, instead of gg to the physican, coz i think its just my past injuries relapse only. Whatever. I m the type of ger, who will try to stand on my own feet at the same location, when i fell.