Uber busy! After work, i rushed down to Marina Square, Riz Carlton for my sis's 20th bdae celebration. After the dinner at Waraku, I went to Alvin's grandpa's wake. Left ard 1.30am, where he drove me back. He came up my house, and he is totally immerized with his potong ice cream la.

After my house, he went back to the wake.I woke up at 9.30 today, to go for Gong Gong's funeral. He left at 2am. I was tearing. When they send him in, i was crying like tap water can. Gong gong, i miss you... Haiz...

While I have decided to wait for Alvin, I have also decided to let him be with the person he likes, because, loving a person u do not need to own him, but if he is happy with the person he likes, you will feel loved too. So, I will wait, while i continue my love for him...

I dont care if you have another girl, or if you love someone else. I know what I want, and what i m doing can le. You cant stop me from loving you, missing you, or wait for you.

I went down to Gong Gong's wake today, after a very tiring and difficult day at work. Rushed down with cab, coz very late le, and i wanted to see him, his family members and gong gong soon. Saw gong gong, he seems so peaceful. Which is good. His relatives, cousins, all smiled when they saw me, since it is not the first time i saw them.

Po Po smiled when she saw me. She is so happy to see me. But she said something to me, which I can feel her pain " Yi Lin, gong gong mei you le (gong gong no more le)." I told her, po po dun be sad ok. Po Po Says" nevermind, gong gong old le". When she say this sentance, my eyes went teary.

I will go down tomorrow, and on sunday, to walk his last journey with him, and to give po po morale support.

Alvin is sad, i can feel. We sorted our things out. Let fate n destiny decides bahx. No point determining anything now. I can continue my love for him, wait for him. He agreed with me, that no one, other den me, understand him the most.

I am glad, we are still good friends. As long as he is happy, though I might not be, but i m contented. I just want him to be happy, because I love him.

He laughed, when i told him dat i told Wenya, " Ya, should not fan him. He dont like people to fan him, but he likes to di siao people". Alvin is such a cute darling at times. I am contented, to have him before, and to have him as my good friend now.

Will visit gong gong again tml. Hopefully my issue today, can settle without giving other people trouble.

I cant slp well last night. Thinking of gong gong, the number of times which I have seen him in the past 3 years 6 months. His smiley face...

I am worried for Alvin. I remember he told me before, in his heart, Allen rank number 1, his mum second, his grandparents 3rd, I am the fourth, followed by him dad the 5th.

His grandparents had brought him up, when the family left Pasir Ris, bringing the two brothers to school. When people bully Alvin in school, Gong Gong will scold the person, and warn him from doing it again. Alvin, in short, known as Ah Vin, gong gong will pronounce as Ah Bin. Cute lor!

I am worry for alvin, becoz he loves his grandfather so much. I can feel he is very sad. But there is nothing I can do, if he dont tell me, or refuse my care n concern. Haiz...

Gong gong leave le...

Gong gong, rest in peace. I m very glad to have met you, the best guy I ever met. Though you might be stubborn at times, but i can see, you treat po po and everyone very well.

Gong gong, i believe you already know, I know you will leave today. I m sorry i cant visit you on monday n tuesday this week, though i have made up my mind to see you after work, but you grandsons do not wan me to interfere in the business.

Gong gong, though I cant see you for the last time, I know you are happy, to leave now. The only person, you cant let go de, is po po. I know you want to see me and alvin get married. Gong gong, I know you are very happy I enrolled in Uni le. Not to worry, I will try to persuade Alvin to study de.

Thank you, for treating me like your grand daughter-in-law, seeing you so happy whenever i see you, I feel, it is a blessing to know you.

Gong gong, Rest in Peace. Please bless po po to jia you, live on her life bravely. Please dont let her cry every night. Gong gong, having cancer, is very pain in your body. Leaving now, gives you better peace, lesser pain, i can understand absolutely.

Gong gong, I miss you alot. And, like Alvin, I love you too, because i treat you like my gong gong too. :)

If you have anything to tell the rest, and if you cant tell them, do come into my dream, I will convey for you. Hope to dream of you soon.

Loving a person, does not mean I must have him as mine. As long as he is happy, have a happy life, I think, i should feel happy for him.

It doesnt matter how long I had him, it is about we have a very special relationship before. If the past was love and special, if we ever have a future, it will be a bonus to me.

Maybe, I have learnt, to just keep the love to him, to myself. I hope, he will lead a happy and less stressful life.

Below, is a song, which i have used in my other blog, before i started this blog. This song, represent my feelings to him now, it shall always be my favourite song...

I am doing this post, in memory of our love, since 26-07-2005...

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and I wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You made think I better live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's somthin' I should probably let you know
That I enjoyed everyday that I spend with you
And I will miss you but I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced(2X)

I love you ohh yes I doI'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

1st Lady - Baby I Love You lyrics

Living in the World, of this blog...

I remember this song, which he sang to me... I always cry in this arms, whenever he sing this song, because, I dont want to part with him.



Today, I listen again, Tears came down, together with the heartache... I would love to hug him again, holding his hands, and listen to him sing to me again.... But.... everything.....



ARTIST: Lin Jun Jie, JJ Lin (林俊傑) ALBUM: Music Voyager (樂行者)Songwriter: 張思爾; Composer: JJ LinTranslator: bloodredrosez, keep this credit if taking for use or reposting. This is the only translation of this song out there like this, and possibly the only translation at all.



一九四三　世界大戰　yi jiu si san　shi jie da zhanIn the year 1943, the world war—
阿嬤年輕的時候a ma nian qing de shi hou
When grandmother was young

爺爺愛他那麼多　他們感情很深
ye ye ai ta na me duo　ta men gan qing hen shen
Grandfather loved her so much, their feelings were very deep

但是爺爺　身負重任　
dan shi ye ye　shen fu zhong ren　
But grandfather bore a heavy responsibility

就在離鄉的那夜
jiu zai li xiang de na ye
And on the night before his departure

給了阿嬤一個吻　輕聲說道
gei le a ma yi ge wen　qing shen shuo dao
Gave grandmother a kiss, softly saying

*我要離去　別再哭泣　不要傷心　請你相信我wo yao li qu　bie zai ku li　bu yao shang xin　qing ni xiang xin wo
I must go, do not weep, do not grieve, please trust me

要等待　我的愛　陪你永不離開
yao deng dai　wo de ai　pei ni yong bu li kai
You must wait; my love is with you, it will never leave

因為會有那麼一天　
yin wei hui you na me yi tian
because that day will come when

我們牽著手在草原聽
wo men qian zhe shou zai cao yuan ting
we will hold hands and in the grasslands hear

鳥兒歌唱的聲音　聽我說聲　我愛你niao er ge chang de sheng yin　ting wo shuo shen　wo ai ni
The sound of little birds singing and my voice saying I love you
夕陽西下　鳥兒回家　
xi yang xi xia　niao er hui jia　
The sun set in the west, the little birds return home

阿嬤躺在病床上a ma zai bing chuang shang
Grandmother lies on her sickbed

呼吸有一點散漫　眼神卻很溫柔
hu xi you yi dian san man　yan shen que hen wen rou
She breathes a little unrhythmically, but her expression is still tender
看著爺爺　濕透的眼　握著他粗糙的手kan zhe ye ye　shi tou de yan　wo zhe ta cu cao di shou
She looks at grandfather, moisture filling her eyes, grasping his rough hand

阿嬤淚水開始流　輕聲說道
a ma lei shui kai shi liu　qing shen shuo dao
Grandmother’s tears begin to flow, softly saying

*Repeat chorus twice
我愛你wo ai niI love you

It is a blessing to be with the person you love...

Alvin, do you remember the day you put on the ring on my fourth finger, and you told me you hope I can marry you? Although then I do not want to promise you anything then, in my heart, I have already set you, as my Hubby.



Hearing from wenya that if I have agreed that proposal...me n you would not hav break up. In your heart, you also know I have regard you as my fiance le, if what Wenya said is true, then you should not have said the break up, because you have committments!

I will wait for u, to ask me the question formally.



Muackx.

I meet him today. Thank you, for letting me tell u everything, which I want to tell you.

No matter what you say, I belief, our relationship is a unique one. Let us see, after September 2009, if we will still be together.

26th Dec, supposedly to be our 3 yr n 5 mth. I hate such feeling, becoz I m starting to hate myself. Becoz of my clumsy things, it caused our breakup.

I have moved on to http://little-place-of-eileen.blogspot.com/