Ok, its friday tomorrow, 26th Oct, exactly one month to my 20th birthday. Anyway... Happy Birthday to Erin... She is my gor's gf. I know u are reading.. Hope gor can understand u better, and mend his ways, treasure u, and you will stay happy and pretty always!!!

Gor complained ytd, that his gf knows my situation now, much better den he does. Hahaz, gers talk mah. Gor always go drinking session with his friends, seldom on msn. No point I meet him oso, partly coz i m busy, and also, meet him oso nth to do, see him smoke n smoke only.

I ended my work at 6pm, I reached home at 10pm. I dint want to go home, if not for my body clock, i would have stayed out.I need a home, not just a house. Boy is alrd in NS, no body taking care of me, nobody to love me as much alrd. With my family current situation, it makes me feel, my house is just a shelter for the night.

Tired of going through everything. Going home just to see black faces, rantings, scoldings, stupid house rules. Argh, cant u just shut up? What is done is done. And it is seriously not my business to what happened. Just spare my ears, and let me have a good night rest la. You wanted me to speak to her, i did. Dad ask me to help her find sch, I did. What the hell does both of u want.

I am her elder sis. But i learnt all these things on my own. i can help her now, but she has to learn.

Every since graduation, boy went to malaysia to work, i have grown independent again. But i will need my support when i m tired. This family of mine, is nvr stable. I think, my besties are still the most reliable. When we were in polys, when i dun feel like going home, i will just stay at his hse, and cry over to him. He will understands and comfort me. Now, no one knows and no one dat i can cry to. My weekends is either burn with work, or when spending time with him, we will end up quarrelling. I need some peace and quiet. Can my better days come soon?

Watched a show ytd. A woman, not only must possess gd character, soft spoken, must also know how to cook. Good character, i think i 30% pass, soft spoken, depends who and situation. Cooking.... erm, i think i got 40% la, but still not as gd. Therefore, in all, I am not a woman. This explains y, I am only 19 going 20.

A woman shld not always cry. I wont cry in front of others, except my bf. My besties nvr saw me cry b4, even after so many years.

I remembered telling Vin, I want to get married on 20102010... Which is like, 3 yrs from now, when i m 22 going 23. So young right? But dats the date i like. I told him, whether its with u, or another guy, i want to have my wedding on dat date. Hahaz.

That was just a dream la. I hope can fulfilled though. Lets see.... Maybe i shld be single, less troubles for myself.