When i get to know what she has done, with a guy who has a gf... It reminds me of the time when u told me ur ex came to your hse. I rmb u telling me, " I m sorry dear... I m kidding you". When you said, " i m sorry" i knew sth was wrong. She told me, it is no pt going to find out what is going on, and i shld trust u. Sometimes i trust you, but my instinct and everything, makes me unsure.

Happy 26th mth.. when it is 26th of the mth. Sometimes i hope that, you can be by my side, as n when if you can. But when i know, ur cousins and ur bro has plans for u, i know i have to be understanding, not to be selfish. But when it comes to love, i m a very demanding and selfish ger.

I hope u can be happy. Faith is right.... She told me to be strong la do the right thing, really or if nt its nt fair to him. I told her what u told me abt u needing my support for NS, she told me, if its nt going to work then no point dragging on. You have to learn to deal w it..

I duno if i can make the best decision for you... But i will always rmb, there was a guy, who loves me and dotes me the most. I hope, when i am wif u, i wun feel so stress, and please make me a happier ger. I wish to put the smile on me everyday, just when i think of u, instead of me thinking of u, wishing that u can bring more smiles to me.

I wan to walk down with u more, but, please change, and prove to me, that you can be the guy who can give me security. I need security. Please...

FUNNNNNN!!!

It is nice to have the compansionship of your best fren, someone who will listens to you. I love this kind of life. Off day today, and i went to sentosa with Michelle. (am reach her house, we reach vivo at 11, and we reach the beach around 11 plus. We tan, and swim, den tan and swim, den again.... till 3pm. We dun look tan at all, except for our feet.

We suggested to go to the Fish Reflexology, but two idiots, walked damn far, to wait for a long time, for a short bath. Then we walked to New Zealnd ice cream for tirmisu Ice cream, yummy! We took the blue line, then came to Siloso Point, when we were actually tanning near the ben and jerry only!

Enquire on the price, $38, for the fishes and a manual massage, quite reasonable. Was told to come back at 5.45pm, so we went for our lunch cum high tea at delifrance. Then to the massage. Ur truly is not afriad of pain, but is terribly bad at itchiness... So i practically shake and hold on to michelle.

Its Michelle's virgin trip for feet massage. I was quite ok with their skill, but the ambience is nice. I realise the staffs wear crocs shoes! Mayb it is good for the legs?

After dat, we went to Vivo City for dinner, Carl's Jr. Initially we couldnt find a place, and intended to give up. Just when we are walking out, we spotted a place, near the entrance.

Mich and I felt hot on our shoulders, from the burnt, and carrying shoulder bags, esp big and heavy ones, are really painful....

The tan is quite uneven, but I enjoy myself today! Great company, great weather, great day, and fun!

2nd day of MC...

He called me ytd night, he is having a sore throat, coz he tried to be a hero, shouting... Cool Yeah! Hey, drink more water, when u come back i make honey lemon water for u ok?

He was worried abt my sickness, but he kept complaining that i m very workaholic.:( I know la. U oso mah!!! Not fair to say me only, u have to do some reflections too.

I have always heard from my mum, finding a bf or husband, he shld be someone who will side u, when problems arises, such as, when u have a tiff wif his family members. My baby apparently loves his family more den me, that i can understand, but he oso stands by dem! Umph! I m unhappy abt it. No security at all!

I guess I m not gg to stay at home the whole day today, coz i slp n do nth. I might go to the gym, or for swimming later.

For the first time, Pamela called me at night, and we have a short chat for around 10mins. Then i smsed my colleagues, to tell them not to touch aything on my desk.

Wake up at 9am. Wow, i can really slp. 9 hrs of slp, and i m still tired. Gosh! Don just called me on some work issues, sick osomust work!

I hope i can get well soon. I dun wan the pple ard to worry for me. Jia you!

Its almost one week he went in le... Ytd he dint call me. I was having diahorra the whole day ytd, dint eat anything, except for an apple and some porridge. My tummy goes flat in a day. Yeah!

On 2 days MC... Might consider to take time off instead, coz if take MC, I will lose the $100 incentive. Hmmz... considering....

I noe he arent going to be very happy if he gets to know abt it. I am looking at Fujitsu tablet PC, sony camera and a new mp3... Argh, can I strike a lottery? Hahaz...

I just helped him to send the email. Sorry Vin, haven do the hard disk yet. I will do so if i have the time.

The 2nd day... A boring sunday. But went dinner with family, happy! Boy says his head is rounder. I wan to see! Happy birthday Roy!

September 15

Today is September 15, 2007,the day here I first stepped on the SAF Ferry Terminal, and find myself on the ferry with Alvin, going through the 15 mins ride, and went on Tekong ISland wif his fmaily, sending him in....

I saw him walking through, taking the oath, it tells me, My Boy is going to be a Man. Dear, like i told u, i will try to walk wif u thru the NS days, just as I had promised you b4.... I hope I will be able to do so... And i look forward to loving you, feeling that you grow up 2 weeks later...

No matter how i bu she de, the law, the future... Everything as forced us to wake up from our dream, and to face that, we have to grow up, and treasure those people and things around us, and that we are having. Once we have learnt how to treasure, we will be the richest people in the world, not with just monetary, but the mental and other support that we have...

The day he will go botak, and go thru all the courses that will treach him to be, the MAN.

I duno if u r reading this right now, but i would like to tell u, Thank You!These 2 days, the smiles on your face, the blissful feeling u gave me, brightens up my life. I m really happy. Thankfully, i can get this wonderful memory, a good memory to remember.

Just staying in the resort room, enjoying good food (which makes me gain 4kg), and great accompany, I m a happy ger alrd. What I want, is just your accompany. Loving it. I m hoping, i can see u tml. But, if i really cant, i hope, i and i wish, that you can dun go malaysia on thurs or friday, but to enjoy ur last few days.

The neoprints we took today, is so cute. :) U r a great bf, and i hope u can do well in NS. No matter wat happens in future, i m really glad, i have this chalet stay with you, and only you... U know what, its going to be one of the best memories...

I did my waxing for the first time in my life ytd. I love the pain sensation. Hahaz....

I went for the pre-employment checkup, gosh i m only 1.55m high, and i weigh 47kg... what a fat ass! Time to check what I m consuming ger....

Boy went for his strentous exercsing with his bro just now. i hope, he can do well for his NS. Good Luck, Jia you!

Thankfully, he landed peacefully. When he hugs me, i can feel his love for him. I m glad he is still a piece. I know he had been trying to make me happy ytd. One of his first words when he landed, is that "xin ku ni le".

We had dinner at amk hub wif jeannie (his cousin). Then he send me home, where we talk at my hse void deck. We realised, we are both struggling to keep ourselves to each other, to maintain this rs. Is it going to worth all these effort?

I hope i can enjoy myself next week in the resort.

blogging from his hse now... he just landed. I m hoping things can go well....

I felt myself sipping into depression these few days. I have been crying everyday these few days for no reason, and when i start, I will begin to think of him, the way he treats me, the gd n bad.... The heartaches and pain comes again. I haven seen him for almost 2 weeks, and for the past few mths, we had been quarrelling, yet he gg NS soon. I guess, its time i make a decision soon.

I am happy at work today. Don dint work today, but have fun discussing sth wif CY. Well, it can be fun at times without the boss. Hahaz.Jia Rui's birthday today, happy bdae boy. I went to work, den meet my family at PS, den had dinner at Ajisen, den watch Rush hour 3.

Vin is landing on 7th, at 14.50pm, flight number tr987, budget terminal. Then I thinking to either go overseas with him for 2 days, or to stay in a resort room to relax.

I need a break. I break from all the worries and unhappiness....

I miss baby.... Haiz. I love him. But make me so sad. I am so happy that he called me, but it make me so sad oso. I miss him.

Hai. How to love him further? i duno...

Went to watch 881 last thrus, wif Nories, Alice, jamie, CY, Don, GM.... Nice show, i almost cried.



I m crossing my finger, hoping dat i wun be going to sembawang.. Justin, dun quit la. Hai. If i realli have to go there, i might as well quit.



I m tired, seriously tired. I m happy mich n xav make up le.I hope they can en en ai ai. I am talking to bee bee's bro now. He is saying that boy has been waiting for me, n my work is more impt den him. Dear, if u want me to quit, i will. U just say it, and u have to promise me, no horrible mths like these few mths i have to go thru ever again.

I love u, yes i do.... Will u love me back like i did? I just want to be a happy ger again. U will have no idea, how much tears is dropped from m eyes these few days, wif the thought u r leaving me for NS.....

I feel so lost, so helpless. 2 years ago, when i picked myself up from the failed rs, i found u. I gave u my everything, and u are my everything. My love, my smile, my happiness. U left me, all alone to face everything, everyone. I almost fainted so many times, yet u r nvr beside me, not even once. When we talk on the phone or in face, we always quarrel. Time is always not on our side, and the distance between us r getting bigger.

I know, u r thinking abt our future. However, how can we continue, if we cant spend time tgt. I have not had any new memories with u for so long. I only want love to get redeveloped between us again. I have been living on our past memories these few mths since Feburary, and all these cant work anymore, coz they r getting stale. I know its hard for u, and i understand y u r doing this, but i really cant take it anymore.

I want more time wif u, but NS is coming, and u have ur dad. Please dun blame me in the decision I will make. Its not dat i dont wish to walk down the future wif u, but i m not strong enuf to go thru so many tough obstacles u r putting me in. I want to love u for as long as we can, but, u r not giving me any love, and i cant feel it anymore from u.

The words u told me, dat i m selfish, and I m materalistic. Do u know, when u r not ard, I have to protect myself, and time wif u r so precious that i cant afford to let pple ard us to waste it, dats y i m selfish. Do you know, I have to shop and buy things to make myself happy, to rekindle the love we had in the past. You think i realli like it? I rather spend my time wif u, loving u and only u.

How many times u hurt me, with ur actions and ur words, I kept quiet. I realli felt so hurt from someone whom i love so much, who picked me up from the mess i was in, and also the same person who said such things to make me so hurt in my heart.

The tears dat was dropped, pierced into my heart. U told me i dint keep my promise to go for your course, i am sorry. I dun wish to explain much, becoz i feel so useless.

I ever told u b4, when i lose u, i will be single, mayb forever. Becoz i realli love u so much, dat i cant continue further. U r a nice guy, and u deserve a better lady for u.

Finally, i got my off day on SUNDAY! Yes, becoz tml i got someone coming, therefore i changed my off day to today. Baby went jogging, and soccer, den meet me for The Simpsons Movie at Vivocity at 2.05pm. Nice show. Both of us are such pigs, esp me, had nachos each. And we slacked at Starbucks, with me eating salad, and went amk to get my fruit juice, where we eat again!

Omg, think i put on so much calories, so i shall watch wat i m eating these 4 weeks. Fat fat ger! Hmmz, baby's mum say i slimmed. That was ytd! Gosh!

I wan to watch the 881 and the 1408! Wanted to go kbox wif boy today, but he is not feeling well. I hope he can faster be more free, and pei me more! I wan more of his attention. Haha, like any other gers, we are attention seeker.

I hope the blemishes on my face can get lost soon. I want my pretty skin back soon. Therefore, more fruit juices and more slp for me. Lesser stress please!

Had the company d n d on 14th aug, was a fun night, spent 55 bucks doing my hair though. Went to bar none to chill, but after dat we went to the pump room. Hahaz. Fun with GM, Jamie, Don, Huzaini, CY.

Dear, i love u. whenever i look back into my life with u ard, i felt the bliss. But now, i feel nth. I feel so bored, and my life seemed meaningless. I hope more attention from u. However, u may say, it is due to your work, everything will be fine soon. But, when u finish ur ns, u will be back to dat factory n work again. N my life will continue lidat...I noe u love me, n i love u too, but, our past memories are the ones accompanying me when u r not ard.

Work is so tiring for me.... but i m loving it. However, i have not gotten my confirmation letter. Work is sth for me to get rid of my loneliness...

Alvin kok, i hope u r mine truely. I wan more security n more love from u. I dont noe how long more i can hold on to this... I noe u r very tired from all this working, and missing me, but when i understands u, do u understand what i m going through? I m just a fragile ger, who needs my boy beside me as well.

Happy Birthday Singapore! This is the second year baby n i joined the rehearsal, enjoyed ourselves, watching the fireworks! So sweet

My colleague is very weird these days. The way he speaks to me! Hai.... I hope he can be alright.

Many of us look at things on the surface, we nvr try to look deeper into the things we see wif our eyes. There is a lack of trust between us, that I shld try to inject more for him.

I love him, and is real thankful to his creative gift of the webcam, and the sweet note.

Watched "alone" with my colleagues, jamie, me, cheeyang and don. Haha, jamie n i had great time screaming. I tot my screams cant b heard, but the guys claimed they heard mine, not jamie's. Well, if i watched more than 1/4 of the show, i sure cry.

Today sux. Had some company with 1000 people coming to release fishes. It makes us damn unhappy. Thx to my colleagues, :). We transport 250 chairs over, tough work.

Tired argh! Tml is set up, den ndp, den fishing com, den dnd.... den 7th mth... Busi!

Argh, had a tiff wif baby again! This is my one n only weekend off this mth, as I had been taking too much weekends off for the past 2 mths, but, baby's company has been cocking up his time to meet me, so i got so fed up wif him, and had attitude problems.

Haiz. time wif him is always so limited, yet we got so much things to do together. I bought my d n d dress today, and my clutch. Baby is angry wif me for not listening to his comments, and becoz of dat, i bought the dress I dislike. Haiz. But, i feel, i shld show more confident when wearing dat.

I love him still, but i feel heartache, so badly, esp when he said he feels like scolding me. I know its my fault for showing attitude, but i waited for u the whole day. :(

Tml i m working alone. I am thankful to my colleagues for helping me so much, esp when they know I hurt my wrist. Thanks.

Past few weeks have been relatively rocky for me. 22nd, the Primers D n D, was a big and unmemorable day for me. I was damn tired, but i went instead, as I know boy wants me to go. However, later in the day, he told me he sold the tickets back to the organisers, but when i insist i want to go, he says Pamela is going. I know right frm the start you had given her the tickets....

After dat D&D, baby and I have a big fight, over a stupid taxi driver. I trusted baby to give him directions,and the driver is stepping on his accelerator, thats y i dont wan him to overshoot, and i shouted to ask him to stop.

Baby n I quarreled, and he turned n leave me at the bus stop. Yes, I hate him at that time. I almost got knocked down by the other taxi. With teary eyes, I was damn sad. He ran back, and we spoke. That night, he wanted a break, refused to pick up my phone n stuffs, i cant slp till 4.30am, so i cab down to his hse and wake him up.Everything was cleared up.

25th, i check in tot he resort room, and waited for him to come, which was alrd 6pm. We went for dinner, rent a bicycle. We slpt ard 2am. The next morning, we went for breakfast at Mac, swimming and check out.

Went to buy some stuffs for my work, and we dine at Jack's Place at AMK. Its a virgin try for both of us, its a nice ambience.

My colleague is back from his trip, i dont know y, mayb he feels I m different alrd. Which is like, obviously. I heard from Yvonne on last sunday, that my company has confirmed me, but I am not so sure how true it is. But my colleague is promoted to Officer, congrats.

I hurt my wrist, and I am thankful for everyone's concern. Went singing with my boss they all again at Changi Airport 2 days ago. Had a great time.

I hope he dont hurt me again. I dont wan to think so much le. I hope things can be better. I feel very tired, i hope he can protect me, plan ahead of me, be my big brother, a best fren, and a great boyfriend to me.

Aww, u r sweet.Thx boy. Today is full of ups n downs. Baby told me ytd, dat his plan for 26th, is to have a resort room at ECP, or to go out to sea on the yacht. He planned to set aside a buget of 1k for the annivesary.

"It is not abt the money i spend on u. As u know, money is impt to businessman, but to me, u r more impt den money." This is wat he told me.

Blur boy, dint know how to book a yacht n the procedures, so i told him, but we decided to go for ecp instead, coz much worth it. Yacht can wait, coz i wan to go on it for my wedding. :)

I was pissed wif him ytd n today, for putting me aeroplane. But today,although he put me aeroplane n meeting me so late, i bought the wallet for him, finally, after searching almost all departmental stores. He says he love it.

I cried at marina square, coz i was so tired. he make me wait for him for 3hrs alone, and i spend 200 bucks in dat 2 hrs. Most of the things are for him. But i bought a nice fox jacket, dat baby oso say he likes it alot.

Anyway, ytd n the day b4, was talking to cy on msn abt some stuffs. I guess my dear colleagues are having their tongues wagging again. Hmmz. And Seri was dismissed. Sad.

Its 20-07 today, so being a hot date, i have a wedding at workplace. this couple is damn poor thing, yet lucky.The poor things are us, who pratically do the set up twice. So tiring. N the pool competition... I hope everything will be alright tml.

Ok, now i shall go prepare stuffs for our 2 yrs.... Shall not blog here, coz in case bee bee sees