My Guardian Angel

My Guardian Angel.... is the turtle. it is suppose to accompany me, for me to hug, and cry to, when i need someone beside me. Although it is not alive, at least the feeling of the hug, will be much better den nth.

Was at his hse after the movie, I finally broke down and cry like a tap. My nose is known for being a tap, dint noe my eyes oso can do such a good job in this. It just such a nice cry, coz i dint cry for very long le, and I have been controlling myself for so damn long.

he made me promised ytd, dat when i send him in today, i will not cry. So, i was strong enough to not think abt anything else, but my turtle dats lying on my bed.

Just went to chinatown with family. Its a damn freaking long time since we last went out, as a family. And daddy bought me a pair of slippers! Yeah! Hmmz... Simple things makes me feel so contented. But somehow, i feel his attitude towards mei mei has changed...

He is going for field camp soon, and i m rather worried. Coz of the monsoon season, rainy days made the training tougher. Hope he does not fall sick or injure himself.

Just told mummy i intend to go overseas. She said ok, and so, i just need to inform her dat i m going away. Yippy! But i m not going to tell her i m going alone, arbo she sure dont allow.

Finally, his field camp period is here, meaning, i cant contact him for the whole week... Sianz.

I took time off ytd, to accompany him. We watched Mr Woodcock, dont think it is as nice as Balls of Fury though. He was nice, he got me the first soft toy since we had been together for the 27th mth, on the 27th oct. It is a very big soft toy, a turtle. Boy got one for himself too. Total damage he made: $49.90 x 2. I also got a blanket free. Nice and soft. Happy!

He booked in this morning. I sent him to pasir ris in his dad's car. Today off, going to beach with family. I hope everything will be alright. Off tml again, shall got for 2 driving lessons. Stop being lazy, and get my bum to the driving centre.

Insomia and stress recently, from my family, really made me feel physcially and mentally weak. How to survive in nov lidat?

Told boy that I am going to Osaka in April. He asked me whom i m going with. The fact is, I am going alone. Too troublesome to go asking around who wants to go. So i rather go alone. But, he rather I dont go Japan or Taiwan first. Coz he wants to go with me. Haiyo....

Thailand is a fun place to go, but the situation there is very messy, mummy wont allow me to go alone. HK had been there b4, though dint realli walk around.

Maldives island, is my dream place to go, same as Miami. Those places are my nice and peaceful. China is nice with their scenery. May be i will go before school starts, get away for 3 weeks there.

Right now, in Jan, I will go to...

Tired

It is 26th October. it is out 27th mth together. The rocky months... I dont know what lies in front of us.

He told me, he will book out early afternoon tml, and book in on sunday morning. He hopes that i can stay over. As usual, I cant, esp my recent family problems... He says, if he is single, he dont mind not booking out. If i m single, i wont even bother to arrange to claim time off to accompany you tml.

I hope he can understand. It is reali tiring, to see that he is sad. I know and can feel he is unhappy, but i m oso. Cant he hide it, so as not to presurize me?

He will not be booking out next week, coz field camp. I have decided my travel trip. Either Shanghai or Japan Osaka or China Sheng zhen, in January. Who wants to join me? Its either backpack journey (i really want to try it), if not the usual travelling.... Shall start saving more...

Tried my first new working experience today. Good feedback in the seminar, but bad for the part 2. Lucky its not my fault. hee.

Mr Yik called me today. Shocked. Thanks for remembering me, Sir! I guess, i will give the offer of Marketing Executive a miss. Though the position sounds appealing, and the place is of quality, but i feel, i am not one who loves too much of change. I prefer calm and stable sea, instead of rocky sea. The workplace i m currently having, is peacful and easy going for me. At least for now. I hope i wont regret rejecting the offer.

Got another offer of Sales Executive by the other company i had interviewed earlier before I joined this current company. Same thing, I want to experience sth, learn enough, before I leave. To make me leave, not just the finance factor, but also the character of the colleagues.

I think i m sterotyped by my colleagues, that i m a small chili ger who is damn fierce. Got meh? Alright la. I dont beat people. I talk sense to them.

My dear friends who got access to this blog, which i think, its less then 10 of you, you are invited to my birthday chalet at Pasir Ris Coasta Sands on 26th Nov. Please drop me an email or comment, if you are able to attend. Thanks.

Ok, its friday tomorrow, 26th Oct, exactly one month to my 20th birthday. Anyway... Happy Birthday to Erin... She is my gor's gf. I know u are reading.. Hope gor can understand u better, and mend his ways, treasure u, and you will stay happy and pretty always!!!

Gor complained ytd, that his gf knows my situation now, much better den he does. Hahaz, gers talk mah. Gor always go drinking session with his friends, seldom on msn. No point I meet him oso, partly coz i m busy, and also, meet him oso nth to do, see him smoke n smoke only.

I ended my work at 6pm, I reached home at 10pm. I dint want to go home, if not for my body clock, i would have stayed out.I need a home, not just a house. Boy is alrd in NS, no body taking care of me, nobody to love me as much alrd. With my family current situation, it makes me feel, my house is just a shelter for the night.

Tired of going through everything. Going home just to see black faces, rantings, scoldings, stupid house rules. Argh, cant u just shut up? What is done is done. And it is seriously not my business to what happened. Just spare my ears, and let me have a good night rest la. You wanted me to speak to her, i did. Dad ask me to help her find sch, I did. What the hell does both of u want.

I am her elder sis. But i learnt all these things on my own. i can help her now, but she has to learn.

Every since graduation, boy went to malaysia to work, i have grown independent again. But i will need my support when i m tired. This family of mine, is nvr stable. I think, my besties are still the most reliable. When we were in polys, when i dun feel like going home, i will just stay at his hse, and cry over to him. He will understands and comfort me. Now, no one knows and no one dat i can cry to. My weekends is either burn with work, or when spending time with him, we will end up quarrelling. I need some peace and quiet. Can my better days come soon?

Watched a show ytd. A woman, not only must possess gd character, soft spoken, must also know how to cook. Good character, i think i 30% pass, soft spoken, depends who and situation. Cooking.... erm, i think i got 40% la, but still not as gd. Therefore, in all, I am not a woman. This explains y, I am only 19 going 20.

A woman shld not always cry. I wont cry in front of others, except my bf. My besties nvr saw me cry b4, even after so many years.

I remembered telling Vin, I want to get married on 20102010... Which is like, 3 yrs from now, when i m 22 going 23. So young right? But dats the date i like. I told him, whether its with u, or another guy, i want to have my wedding on dat date. Hahaz.

That was just a dream la. I hope can fulfilled though. Lets see.... Maybe i shld be single, less troubles for myself.

Guys nvr seem to treasure things that are in front of them. Was talking to Jov, Huz had admitted that he is with the other ger, and both huz n jov has spilted. But, they still behave like couple. The status is not clear, and Huz dun want to talk abt it.

She changed alot for him, her dressing, her behaviour, her habit and everything....She intended to wait, till he gets married. Even if he wans a patch, she will not consider. Where in the world to find such a nice ger?

The reason is, both of them has different religion. Yet, love is too strong between them. The restrictions...

Guys nvr treasures. Serious. When things are gone, they regret. But, they will nvr know how much hurt has been put in, and how the ger has been living when he hurts her heart.

Lucky, he makes amendments. But, he will nvr know, she will nvr be hers again. Even if so, the pure feeling, will not be there again. Just like undergoing a surgery, even if it makes one recovers, the scar will remain...

A simple sms, or a call, to tell us where you are, or that you remember, bring a smile to a girl, warmth to her heart... I seriously hates guys who hurts gers. Coz of their stupid ego, they nvr admit they are wrong. And they will nvr try to make things right.

I really pity her. Before I was with my first bf, i always hear abt such things, and i feel guys are idiots. Dats y i always scold dem. Their brains, i always thought, grow in their butt. Hahaz. Seriously stupid.

If i m a guy, i will treasure her, coz she is a hard to come by lady. It beats better, to have a play girl, who hurts guys. Gers always looks at guys, who love dem more them she loves him. But, this idea, is nvr understood by my opposite sex.

Fat ass me! I had been eating so much lately. Hai... Furthermore Jamie is going away till 28th, that will mean no one to share my lunch with me.

Was talking to mei mei just now, she was asking me abt her poly courses. I find NP Business studies still quite appealing, with an additonal option to major in International Business. I used to take a module on it, and i scored my AD in it. Haiya, if i am give the chance again, i will choose that as my major, instead of torturing myself in Marketing. However, marketing is one of the best in my year. So i nvr regret my choice.

Sis is looking at SP's new diploma Human Resource Management with Psychology.

I would rather she takes that, then to do some other rubbish course. Although the distance is further den NP, but taking a train beats taking a bus, esp when BKE always jam like there is no tomorrow. Both Polys is good for slimming, as their hills are very steep.

She is not considering other Polys, though they are nearer to our hse. Maybe she got influenced by me, if want to do, do the best, and dont regret.

Boy hasnt called me for 2 days. i hope he is doing fine. Off day tml, and this means, driving lessons. I am seriously a slow turtle la. But i dont have time and energy to learn.

The Year end sales are coming. Shall plan what I want to get. Levis' Jeans, Mango or Zara top?

Plans for tomorrow: Trim eyebrow, finish a stupid proposal my client insist me to give her by tml, driving, meet a friend....

Mummy is yaking away again... Shit! I m just home for barely 1 hrs, and she is nagging and nagging. Cant u just SHUT UP! Haiyo, my sister is old enuf for her to think. Let her decide for her own future. It is pointless for us to help her, when she dont want to help herself. Give up on this family sia. Dont know what the hell they are thinking.

Boy just msg me this evening. He managed to do the 1st pull up in his life! Yippy, no more grumbles from him for this failure. Shall encourage him to head towards 3, den to 6. Hope he can do it. Jia You!

Haiyo, many people has been telling me, i m very fierce. Yes, I may be fierce, to protect myself and the people around me. I will only be soft to the peopl I am very close with, or when I am very sick. Dats y boy likes me the most when i am sick. hahaz, coz i wont shout at him. Count yourselves lucky for all the guys that I know recently. The past me will just scold the guy for no reason, and he will just end up getting my scolding with question marks in the brain.

When i first know my ex, and Vin, I oso scolded them, before I got closer with them.....

The world is so small, and I dont know where should I go for the break... I need to escape, from everything... To start myself afresh!

My birthday is coming soon. Argh, the thought of being 20, seriously makes me feel old. No offence to my friends who are already 20, but I cant accept that I am turning with the BIG 2 so soon....

Diet Diet Diet.... i had been eating so much ytd. I shall take 2 meals a day, instead of the usual 3 meals. The third meal shall be some soup or fruits.

I had been neglecting my family members. Friday I m was busy and celebrate the girl's birthday. Sat I stayed over at work, for some wedding stuffs. Slpt at 1am, wake at 5 plus. Alamak! I growing older soon at this rate.

Damn tired, in the end, instead of working the whole day, I went off in the afternoon, went to accompany the boy. Lunch at AMK Hub, eat like a pig. My tummy is bulging out! Den went to his hse for a small nap, before goingtt o Pasir Ris for Dinner at HongKong Cafe! Thereafter, his mum sent me to Ade's house.

Hmmz... GM's birthday. And alot of staffs turned up. Its good to see so many people there. Her kids are so cute and have sharp features. Saw the previous colleague, a lady which my boss dun like. Well, no personal preference, but maybe she is a little too obvious that she dont like him, by wishing everyone, except him. She even wished me, when she dont know who i am.

My boss sent me home, with 3 other women, coz he was on the way to Hougang as well.

Boy, Thanks! I know I have been very ridiculous, and bad tempered, but i am very tired. Its time for me to go on a break for recharge. Hope you can do well for your training, and your little toe to recover soon. I want you to piggyback me!!! Waiting, waiting, waiting...

I m behaving like a little kid, not like a mature ger that I used to be. Coz, i am almost 20. Soon. So, let me enjoy some last childhood, before I move on to my 20th, the big 2.

This is the 300th post that I have entried, with my old blog posts.

Elaine, happy 20th Birthday. Hope we can celebrate more of your birthdays. I love you. Hahaz. So les right? Mich, Kris, Elaine... U gers will nvr be forgotten by me. My best sisters.

Went to Vivo after work, rushing all the way, to meet the gers, and had dinner at Swensens, spending around $40. Ok la, I am working, comparing to them.

Dint take any pictures with them today, wasted.

Anyway, when i was on the MRT to vivo today, I saw this couple. The ger was explaining sth to the guy, but this guy tried to agrue, thereafter, he put on his earpiece and tried to study. The ger continue to talk, explaining herself, however, the guy put his earphone to full blast, and refused to listen. The ger got frustrated, and starts to irritate him. And they starts to quarrel. The ger began to keep quiet, i look at her eyes, its teary. She has given up hope, and I can feel the pain in the heart. However, the guy is not attentive tot he ger at all. After 5 mins, when he realise the ger is keeping quiet, he starts talking to her, but she ignored him.

Sometimes, I wonder, whose fault is it? I dont know. The ger's encounter, is sth i always felt, when i was with him. He never knew what I wanted, and what I am thinking. When I tried telling him, he simply brush it off. I may seem like nth, someone unimportant, as always, but when u need a ger beside you, you try to sweet talk. Is girls' purpose of survival in this world, is to entertain you guys?

He just called, to persuade me to meet him tomorrow night. I shall try, but feel bad leaving jamie behind. But, he says, he might have guard duty next week, thereafter got field camp. Ya, hard work, but i m oso feeling difficult to make my decision over here. I hope he can just understand, but i understand he badly wants to see me. Hai... Seriously, i dont know how. He always put me in such situations, that I dont like.

Then when i came home from Serangoon on MRT, there was this weird guy who left his bag behind. Funny, and some teenagers run after him with the bag. So dramatic.

Not coming home tomorrow. I cant make up my mind which country I wan to visit in January.

Today is the 18th, and tml, will be 19th, the date that the girls will meet up, to celebrate dearest Elaine's 20th Birthday. Since secondary school, we will nvr fail to celebrate hers. I miss my girlies, and the fun we had. Ok, I am the youngest among them, but i m definately the most mature of all.

Facebook is another kind of friendster. My friends had been adding me in it, but, i m not as active there yet. Work is quite alright, but sad that I got to work tml. Nvm, it will be fun, just like these few days. I will be positive.

The boy booked out ytd, as he hurts his toe. Met him just now to send him in. I seriously sent him in lor, to SAF ferry terminal. I will be damn busy this weekend, hopefully my flu can recover soon, I dun wan to be classified as the number 1 flu virus carrier, as 2 of my colleagues have kena. Lucky the person sitting next to me has strong immune, if not, i guess if there is a third person who kena, I might as well go see doctor and take MC.

Why am I always so weak... Why why why...

Had dinner at Hongkong cafe, as Mr Kok says he wans to eat sth gd, before going back Tekong, and he paid for it. Haiya, as usual lor. I m not a spolit girlfriend, but my bf wants it, so i m usually ok with his plans.

I have set my mind. I will concentrate on my driving now, den take financial lessons, while waiting for 21st birthday to come, before I decide which Uni i want to enrol myself in.

I want to watch the movie Rendition, it is a M18 show, now under sneak preview. Anyone wants to watch?

What shall I wear for the girl celebration tml?

Mummy is doing her rants now, on my sis's results. Hai, that girl,high possibility that she is going to fail her J1 again. Mummy just went.... Eileen, u r the oldest of all. With the saying that " Eldest acts a parent when the parents are away", so I should handle my sister. She wants me to tell speak to her about her future.

I dont see the point. They are my siblings, and since young, I am very jealous about their cleverness. Now, my parents are getting so proud of me of passing my Poly smoothly. I dont need my parents to worry for me, and I know what I want. But, my siblings being so much cleverer den me, can think for themselves. What can i do? Counsel them? They have to face that they have done, not within my control.

I may not be a gd sister, but, i have shown to them, that me being not intelligent like them, can work my way up. Its just up to them whether they want to work hard for what they want.

I cant be bothered to nag. And i hate to nag at people. I just leave her to do what she likes, as long as she dont regret her decision.

In the past, my parents cant be bothered with how i fare in my results, so long that i can pass. I am always a sidekick. But now, my siblings failed, then they starts to treasure me. I look at the past, to the present.

I was reading Cleo just now. There was this test that i did, on Paranoid. The stress expert said that " Paranoia is a natural part of the human psyche", but it depends on individual on how paranoid each person is.

From the test, it shows that I am quite a paranoid person. Quite. Its true that my ex's impact on my relationships matters alot, and i dont trust people easily. I can get suspicious easily, unless you can convince me. I trust my instinct and 6th sense alot. Vin has become the victim of my past relationship. But he himself, is probably getting a karma, coz he used to be a playboy mahx.

Loyalty and faithfulness is my perfect vision in what I want to have from people around me. Heart to heart talk with me? Wait till u know me very well, like my best friends who had been with me for more than 7 years.

Hai, 19th I got to work. meaning I cant enjoy myself as much for Elaine's birthday. I miss the darling gers, the times we had in secondary school. Its not easy, for us to move on from being so close everyday, to the times where all four of us went to different courses in 2 polys, to now where one of us doing degree in govt uni, one is private uni, and the other two working. Thanks girls, for all the support. :) They are the ones who know me better then anyone in this world, not even Alvin.

Chatted with my ex colleague, Yvonne on my future studies. I m looking at some degree that is joint major, Bachelor of Commerce with Double Majors, Hospitality and Tourism Management and Marketing, OR Bachelor of Arts with Double Major -Psychology and Marketing Management of some private institution.

Not Psychology again. But the prospect of Tourism industry dont sound too good for me. I m intending to have 2 paths for me choose in future. So i would like to have 2 majors as back up. UniSIM has a limit for me to be 21 year old before I can make my application, which is 2 yrs later.

I dont like to do things that i will regret. I shall listen to more advices to see how I want to continue. Maybe before I turn 21, after i get my driving license, i shall proceed to getting a private financial degree first, then to go for better degrees. Looks like I am doing a bit in every field.

There are more votes for PSP den DS.... But, I still cant make up my mind. Or maybe I shall just save up, and go to the States to find Yvonne, since she is having her holidays soon.

Time passes so fast, especially after I left school. Hai, pple grow old so soon. I was hoping, my 20th year will not come.. Since young, i have been wanted to grow up, and acting mature. Maybe being young is good.

Work is alright la, times passes damn fast today. But i m very slpy, coz my running nose tap drip from 8am till now, at 9pm.Gosh! I used alot of tissues lor.

I dont know if i shld buy psp slim or nintendo... Haiz. 19th i got 2 driving lessons, den go to elaine's bdae celebration! My bestie is 20 yr old. Soon it will be kris's den mine. So soon.

My back problem is getting more problem. Hai. I m not happy! Maybe my goal in life has not been identified yet. We shall see, maybe i shall see my plans soon.

Hahaz, I have nvr seen a guy so stupid la. Gers like guys to be frank, not beat about the bush. Hahaz. Cant stand them for being so blockhead. I shall remain blur, since he is so anxious about his ego.

So sorry for the mood swings that I had been having these few days, especially to the victim to my nonsense, vin....

He just booked in. We went Sentosa today, dint tan,coz the young boss says he has enuf of the sun in Tekong, so we just did fish reflexology and we went off.... I shall buy Nintendo DS lite... White or Pink.... Can anyone tell me, which colour is better? Or shall I buy PSP Slim? Yes, I know I am very indecisive. I need some suggestions.

Spoke to him abt the trip i want to make, he objects me leaving alone, but gave his consent to allowing me to go with guys. Hmmz, who shall i go with den? Shall pick my list soon.

Daddy booked a chalet for my birthday, so dat means I will have to plan for my off days. It has been damn long, since the whole family go out together.

Vin makes me a happy girl today. Thanks. Shall miss u soon. I shall give u another chance to our relationship. Sorry for flaring up at you. I am really sick of those stupid pple, jaming up places.

I m unhappy abt his dad. Idiot la. Went to his hse from Sentosa, his dad says they will be leaving home at 7pm to send him to camp. So, we went amk... at 6.15, dat idiot called and want us back immediately. We were delayed awhile, and boy's hp is not working. His dad flare up, and my boy got angry. The first time i see him got so angry. Hmmz... His dad is ridiculous. Its him who says 7pm, yet the person who called at 6.15 to disturb his beauty slp is not us. He puts all the blame and anger on us for nth. I shld have scolded him back.

Another thing is, when i arrived at his hse and boy is doing his packing, his dad came out of the room. I dint expect him to be in. He was naked with just a towel wrapped ard. I greeted him, and he says sorry. Den he starts wandering ard in the hse. Allen told him oei oei, got ger leh. And Allen added, Anyway is daughter-in-law. Stupid la. Notty Allen.

Hai.. Tml i m working alone, its monday! Monday blues and all. I want to go Miami. But that is my future goal. For now.... I shall plan to go overseas in January or Feburary, just dislike going overseas during school holidays, when i have to squeeze in the crowds. I am too impatient for crowds. I shall pick somewhere that is slow paced with scenery.

Maybe I shld learn some yoga, to cultivate my patience. My meditation and reflection today, reflect my bad endurance. I need to be more patient.

Oh yes, Alvin says, teachers are kind hearted pple, with lots of patience. So i told him, go back to Lena then. His ex is a Teacher. She is very soft hearted, unlike me, with chili temper. Instead, he wans me to be a teacher. I guess I will go bersak with all the little kids. I used to hate kids, and animals. Now I m alright with both, but, i dont really love them yet.

I did some tutoring 2 yrs back, when i first know Alvin, and when we were doing underground dating...Dat little kid is damn irritating, yet I cant resist teaching him, coz he is so cute n innocent, but very naughty. Thats the nature of all kids. Dats also why I love to see Jorin too, she is so adorable yet she is naughty, she can be obedient whenever I tell her nicely.

But when I saw a kid screaming at the top of the voice, I told Alvin, if he is mine, I sure slap him. Alvin says, he too. Hahaz, we are horrible people. Vin still claims he loves kids. Maybe when I have my own kids, I will love them. Dont know.

Alvin told me, my softness to him, should applies to him only. I told him, its for my boyfriends only. Not boy-friend. So those boy-friends, will still enjoy getting tortured by me.

Gers can be blur at hints sometimes, but sometimes, we choose to ignore. If one were to tell us direct, we either catch it or we dun. So, this is a tricky qn, where it comes to question and answer.

Ego, is something everyone has. It is just whether the person's is stronger then others. Some pple, have strong ego, will nvr be able to achieve what they want to do, coz they are afraid of failure. Failure at times, can improvise you, its a learning journey.

Shall I watch David Copperfield? Like Sabbi said, he is old le, and the previous time he came was 6 yrs ago. Its a rare opportunity, and it might be the last as well.... Hmmz, hard to decide, coz the dates and the timing dun suits me. But den again, I hate to regret. Shall make my decision soon, and just leave it behind me..... Go or dun go....

Thanks. I dont know what else to say to u, but, i duno who else will be able to tone me down as much as u can..... But I still must say, I am sorry. The feelings, i tried very hard to search back, but i am still in the trying mode.

Okok, i admit I am a chilli padi. But at least, I am very nice to you. The dinner was nice. We met for a while, den he sent me home, before going to CHIJMES to meet his bunk mates. I dun understand la, he told me he is tired from soccer, but still can go CHIJMES, when i told him i wan go Sentosa tml. Guys, are always guys, loyalty and faith comes first.

Well, maybe thats good oso, I hope nxt time when i ask him abt Love or Bread, he can have the same idea as me...

Where shall i go for holiday? Taiwan? New Zealand? Australia? I want to go somewhere with nice natural scenery, leaving all worries behind, just enjoy myself. . I might be going alone, since noboday can go with me, 6 months I have been staying in Singapore, I will need some break soon. I like nature. But, my back problem, i cant travel much with heavy bags. Sianz... Shall plan for alternatives.

Did some receptionist duties today, its damn difficult. We did all those stupid stunts, and i sucks la... Ok, i know someone is unhappy abt me again.

For those of my frenz who knows me well enuf, will know my instinct and the words i said,are usually accurate. Just because u r a lady, doesnt mean u dun need to heed the advice dat, dun mess with ladies! I can predict my own O levels results, can u? Mind u, my results figure are exactly the ones i told my besties, before the results are released.

Pardon me, i really cant stand those pple. Maybe like what i told Jamie, i m very nice to pple i m close with, but i m not on gd relations with pple like others. Those pple shld not judge pple with colours, and i will not do likewise to dem. I tot after dat event, everything could have gone back to normal, but after what i saw today, it is not settled.

Gossips... Now i know how it spread le. Sitting there for the whole day, I oso get to hear some things dat i dont know, and i dont wish to know.

Vin will not be happy to see i m so notorious. I tried toning down, but i really hate those pple, who tried to put words into my mouth, telling me off for things that i did not do. Just becoz i m not pretty like u, just becoz i m just a small ger, doesnt mean i can accept all these nonsense without arguing back , and just accept everything as it is, but i want peace, i dont want enemies.

Damn! I shall not be upset about all these pple. I must be happy, so that pple ard me will be happy as well. Sometimes, no matter how unhappy i m, I should remain positive. :) For the sake of the others, i shall forgive and forget....

I m sorry, this is something dat i m not able to tell u when i see u. When i met u, i felt more tired and irritated. I know u have been trying to make me happy.

Sorry...

We tried our best, i know. U r the bf that most gers would want, but, i really feel very stress with u. U know when you told me to stay over at ur hse tonight, i tried rejecting. Then u told me to send u home, i understand ur meaning, but i find it hard to reject u. I tried explaining my reasons, but u kept telling me to do as u want, until u unhappily told me u accepted my reasons.

Y is it so difficult for us to communicate...

Sometimes, I just feel like crying in front of u when u cant understand, but this time, no tears came out, to make u soft heart on me, maybe i have given up hope... I dun wish to close my heart on u, just like what i did to royston. Coz u are the one, who opened it again. Yet, u r oso the one, who gave me more scars den what he gave me...

I know you love me alot, but like i told u before, the past affects the present. I know u will tell me that, i should not be bothered abt the past.

But, have u thought how much u hurt me in the past? Both of us tried so much, and i dont want to hurt u. I dont know how to put across to u, just hope, u can be like what u used to be, the guy who understands me the most.

U told me i m too busy for u. Where were u when i need u so much? I understand u have ur responsibility for the country, i understand u love ur family, and the business, u want to outshine and have a company of your own. i know when u dont have time for me, i kept quiet. When i m busy, u complained...Have u thought of what I want....

You told me to be independent when u r not around. yet u want me to be the little ger who rely and listens to u when u r ard. Wow, how to achieve that? Maybe u can teach me?

Before I know u, and roy, i was an independent ger, who shield my sisters, my best friends... Everything changed me. I am not the ger whom I was 3 years ago.

Ok, enought of my rantings for him... I had been busy today. Work in morning, driving in afternoon, den wait for the boy for 2 hrs... great Yeah! Travelling form Tanah Merah to Yio Chu Kang in rain, and tried driving on slope in rain. Then went all the way back to Pasir Ris... How to not be tired...While waiting for him, i bought reader digest to accupy myself...

Y am I always waiting for u? Cant u do the other way round? Like ur mom said, asking me to call u always, will only make me feel more tired of the rs when time passes.....

Singlehood is not sth i desire, but, when things cant work, maybe thats the last solution. I m seriously tired of everything. Shall plan for a trip overseas soon. Even if it meant that I go on my own. I just want to have a break from all these troubles and worries... I don't know who else can understand what i m going through, but i hate myself now. Hai, my hair is going white with all these problems.

Went out wif Roy ytd, a juggy i met at expo working.... after my driving lesson... He is quite an ok guy, i know dear will not be happy to know i met him, but i m really bored la.

Went to "buckaroo bbq and grill" at Sembawang. Its a nice ambience place. Went wif my colleagues, CY, Don, James, Aaron, Justin after a meeting. Me, a lonely girl among the guys, what they chat about, are question marks for me.

I had been talking wif Jovelle lately, dint know some pple can treat girls in such a way. He is a perfect guy, but, maybe not the perfect one for matters of heart. I hope this poor girl can pick herself up.

Tml i am having driving again, slope. Gosh! Dont know how m i going to survive it. Driving is getting fun, and i m less afraid, at least, my biting point is no problem now.

Hai, I am tired of everything. Tml he is coming out again. He ask me to stay over at his place for the weekends, but i had told him i cant. Hope he can understand. I need a big tree in my life. I m tired. I want to escape at times, but, there are so many things i cant let go.

I heard about the story of Jov n Huz.... hai... I knew it for very long, but one of dem had not been telling me the truth. Sometimes, it might be the girl being over paranoid, it could also be the guy in the wrong.They ended in Aug. I miss Jov anyway. Its nice to hear that, I still have her ard. i have great friends.

No matter wat is the case, like Alvin always says, he love me, not just like. love n like, is different. I may like u as a fren, but it does not mean i will love u to be my bf.

Somethings, when you missed the chance, you will end up regretting.

I know i have hurt you, with what I told you yesterday. Thank you for being so understanding, but my feelings for you, is only for weekends only. You are also aware, that my weekends I will have to work. No matter how tired I am, I tried to accompany you as much as I can.

I am glad to have you, the feeling of being a princess. I m having insomnia. haiz...

I have a secret today...

Eileen is not happy... I miss him alot, yet, the special feelings is not there...

I will be on Shopping Ban for the next 2 months... i hope i can curb myself from all the you huo.... I want to save money....

I guess i had so many faces, which i dont know who i m already. Haiz...

I want to study. :( I want to study something professional, something that I like. I hope my car driving will be going on well...

Bee is coming out tml. I duno. Felt sad....

Hate, can nvr resolve hate. Only Forgiveness can...

Lost, Regret, Treasure... Is what all of us will go through. It actually depends, on whether we choose to treasure first, den when we lost, we will not regret. Or we nvr treasure, and when we lost, we regret terribly.

I love u, and treasure u. When u came out frm camp on 28th Sept... I felt i m the luckiest ger ard. I asked u the same qn again, u told me to trust u. I will trust u again, and i hope u will nvr lie to me again

I trust u with my whole heart, my weak heart, will nvr wish to be shattered again.i need u, as my vitamin, to rebuild it again.

When i get to know what she has done, with a guy who has a gf... It reminds me of the time when u told me ur ex came to your hse. I rmb u telling me, " I m sorry dear... I m kidding you". When you said, " i m sorry" i knew sth was wrong. She told me, it is no pt going to find out what is going on, and i shld trust u. Sometimes i trust you, but my instinct and everything, makes me unsure.

Happy 26th mth.. when it is 26th of the mth. Sometimes i hope that, you can be by my side, as n when if you can. But when i know, ur cousins and ur bro has plans for u, i know i have to be understanding, not to be selfish. But when it comes to love, i m a very demanding and selfish ger.

I hope u can be happy. Faith is right.... She told me to be strong la do the right thing, really or if nt its nt fair to him. I told her what u told me abt u needing my support for NS, she told me, if its nt going to work then no point dragging on. You have to learn to deal w it..

I duno if i can make the best decision for you... But i will always rmb, there was a guy, who loves me and dotes me the most. I hope, when i am wif u, i wun feel so stress, and please make me a happier ger. I wish to put the smile on me everyday, just when i think of u, instead of me thinking of u, wishing that u can bring more smiles to me.

I wan to walk down with u more, but, please change, and prove to me, that you can be the guy who can give me security. I need security. Please...

FUNNNNNN!!!

It is nice to have the compansionship of your best fren, someone who will listens to you. I love this kind of life. Off day today, and i went to sentosa with Michelle. (am reach her house, we reach vivo at 11, and we reach the beach around 11 plus. We tan, and swim, den tan and swim, den again.... till 3pm. We dun look tan at all, except for our feet.

We suggested to go to the Fish Reflexology, but two idiots, walked damn far, to wait for a long time, for a short bath. Then we walked to New Zealnd ice cream for tirmisu Ice cream, yummy! We took the blue line, then came to Siloso Point, when we were actually tanning near the ben and jerry only!

Enquire on the price, $38, for the fishes and a manual massage, quite reasonable. Was told to come back at 5.45pm, so we went for our lunch cum high tea at delifrance. Then to the massage. Ur truly is not afriad of pain, but is terribly bad at itchiness... So i practically shake and hold on to michelle.

Its Michelle's virgin trip for feet massage. I was quite ok with their skill, but the ambience is nice. I realise the staffs wear crocs shoes! Mayb it is good for the legs?

After dat, we went to Vivo City for dinner, Carl's Jr. Initially we couldnt find a place, and intended to give up. Just when we are walking out, we spotted a place, near the entrance.

Mich and I felt hot on our shoulders, from the burnt, and carrying shoulder bags, esp big and heavy ones, are really painful....

The tan is quite uneven, but I enjoy myself today! Great company, great weather, great day, and fun!

2nd day of MC...

He called me ytd night, he is having a sore throat, coz he tried to be a hero, shouting... Cool Yeah! Hey, drink more water, when u come back i make honey lemon water for u ok?

He was worried abt my sickness, but he kept complaining that i m very workaholic.:( I know la. U oso mah!!! Not fair to say me only, u have to do some reflections too.

I have always heard from my mum, finding a bf or husband, he shld be someone who will side u, when problems arises, such as, when u have a tiff wif his family members. My baby apparently loves his family more den me, that i can understand, but he oso stands by dem! Umph! I m unhappy abt it. No security at all!

I guess I m not gg to stay at home the whole day today, coz i slp n do nth. I might go to the gym, or for swimming later.

For the first time, Pamela called me at night, and we have a short chat for around 10mins. Then i smsed my colleagues, to tell them not to touch aything on my desk.

Wake up at 9am. Wow, i can really slp. 9 hrs of slp, and i m still tired. Gosh! Don just called me on some work issues, sick osomust work!

I hope i can get well soon. I dun wan the pple ard to worry for me. Jia you!

Its almost one week he went in le... Ytd he dint call me. I was having diahorra the whole day ytd, dint eat anything, except for an apple and some porridge. My tummy goes flat in a day. Yeah!

On 2 days MC... Might consider to take time off instead, coz if take MC, I will lose the $100 incentive. Hmmz... considering....

I noe he arent going to be very happy if he gets to know abt it. I am looking at Fujitsu tablet PC, sony camera and a new mp3... Argh, can I strike a lottery? Hahaz...

I just helped him to send the email. Sorry Vin, haven do the hard disk yet. I will do so if i have the time.

The 2nd day... A boring sunday. But went dinner with family, happy! Boy says his head is rounder. I wan to see! Happy birthday Roy!

September 15

Today is September 15, 2007,the day here I first stepped on the SAF Ferry Terminal, and find myself on the ferry with Alvin, going through the 15 mins ride, and went on Tekong ISland wif his fmaily, sending him in....

I saw him walking through, taking the oath, it tells me, My Boy is going to be a Man. Dear, like i told u, i will try to walk wif u thru the NS days, just as I had promised you b4.... I hope I will be able to do so... And i look forward to loving you, feeling that you grow up 2 weeks later...

No matter how i bu she de, the law, the future... Everything as forced us to wake up from our dream, and to face that, we have to grow up, and treasure those people and things around us, and that we are having. Once we have learnt how to treasure, we will be the richest people in the world, not with just monetary, but the mental and other support that we have...

The day he will go botak, and go thru all the courses that will treach him to be, the MAN.

I duno if u r reading this right now, but i would like to tell u, Thank You!These 2 days, the smiles on your face, the blissful feeling u gave me, brightens up my life. I m really happy. Thankfully, i can get this wonderful memory, a good memory to remember.

Just staying in the resort room, enjoying good food (which makes me gain 4kg), and great accompany, I m a happy ger alrd. What I want, is just your accompany. Loving it. I m hoping, i can see u tml. But, if i really cant, i hope, i and i wish, that you can dun go malaysia on thurs or friday, but to enjoy ur last few days.

The neoprints we took today, is so cute. :) U r a great bf, and i hope u can do well in NS. No matter wat happens in future, i m really glad, i have this chalet stay with you, and only you... U know what, its going to be one of the best memories...

I did my waxing for the first time in my life ytd. I love the pain sensation. Hahaz....

I went for the pre-employment checkup, gosh i m only 1.55m high, and i weigh 47kg... what a fat ass! Time to check what I m consuming ger....

Boy went for his strentous exercsing with his bro just now. i hope, he can do well for his NS. Good Luck, Jia you!

Thankfully, he landed peacefully. When he hugs me, i can feel his love for him. I m glad he is still a piece. I know he had been trying to make me happy ytd. One of his first words when he landed, is that "xin ku ni le".

We had dinner at amk hub wif jeannie (his cousin). Then he send me home, where we talk at my hse void deck. We realised, we are both struggling to keep ourselves to each other, to maintain this rs. Is it going to worth all these effort?

I hope i can enjoy myself next week in the resort.

blogging from his hse now... he just landed. I m hoping things can go well....

I felt myself sipping into depression these few days. I have been crying everyday these few days for no reason, and when i start, I will begin to think of him, the way he treats me, the gd n bad.... The heartaches and pain comes again. I haven seen him for almost 2 weeks, and for the past few mths, we had been quarrelling, yet he gg NS soon. I guess, its time i make a decision soon.

I am happy at work today. Don dint work today, but have fun discussing sth wif CY. Well, it can be fun at times without the boss. Hahaz.Jia Rui's birthday today, happy bdae boy. I went to work, den meet my family at PS, den had dinner at Ajisen, den watch Rush hour 3.

Vin is landing on 7th, at 14.50pm, flight number tr987, budget terminal. Then I thinking to either go overseas with him for 2 days, or to stay in a resort room to relax.

I need a break. I break from all the worries and unhappiness....

I miss baby.... Haiz. I love him. But make me so sad. I am so happy that he called me, but it make me so sad oso. I miss him.

Hai. How to love him further? i duno...

Went to watch 881 last thrus, wif Nories, Alice, jamie, CY, Don, GM.... Nice show, i almost cried.



I m crossing my finger, hoping dat i wun be going to sembawang.. Justin, dun quit la. Hai. If i realli have to go there, i might as well quit.



I m tired, seriously tired. I m happy mich n xav make up le.I hope they can en en ai ai. I am talking to bee bee's bro now. He is saying that boy has been waiting for me, n my work is more impt den him. Dear, if u want me to quit, i will. U just say it, and u have to promise me, no horrible mths like these few mths i have to go thru ever again.

I love u, yes i do.... Will u love me back like i did? I just want to be a happy ger again. U will have no idea, how much tears is dropped from m eyes these few days, wif the thought u r leaving me for NS.....

I feel so lost, so helpless. 2 years ago, when i picked myself up from the failed rs, i found u. I gave u my everything, and u are my everything. My love, my smile, my happiness. U left me, all alone to face everything, everyone. I almost fainted so many times, yet u r nvr beside me, not even once. When we talk on the phone or in face, we always quarrel. Time is always not on our side, and the distance between us r getting bigger.

I know, u r thinking abt our future. However, how can we continue, if we cant spend time tgt. I have not had any new memories with u for so long. I only want love to get redeveloped between us again. I have been living on our past memories these few mths since Feburary, and all these cant work anymore, coz they r getting stale. I know its hard for u, and i understand y u r doing this, but i really cant take it anymore.

I want more time wif u, but NS is coming, and u have ur dad. Please dun blame me in the decision I will make. Its not dat i dont wish to walk down the future wif u, but i m not strong enuf to go thru so many tough obstacles u r putting me in. I want to love u for as long as we can, but, u r not giving me any love, and i cant feel it anymore from u.

The words u told me, dat i m selfish, and I m materalistic. Do u know, when u r not ard, I have to protect myself, and time wif u r so precious that i cant afford to let pple ard us to waste it, dats y i m selfish. Do you know, I have to shop and buy things to make myself happy, to rekindle the love we had in the past. You think i realli like it? I rather spend my time wif u, loving u and only u.

How many times u hurt me, with ur actions and ur words, I kept quiet. I realli felt so hurt from someone whom i love so much, who picked me up from the mess i was in, and also the same person who said such things to make me so hurt in my heart.

The tears dat was dropped, pierced into my heart. U told me i dint keep my promise to go for your course, i am sorry. I dun wish to explain much, becoz i feel so useless.

I ever told u b4, when i lose u, i will be single, mayb forever. Becoz i realli love u so much, dat i cant continue further. U r a nice guy, and u deserve a better lady for u.

Finally, i got my off day on SUNDAY! Yes, becoz tml i got someone coming, therefore i changed my off day to today. Baby went jogging, and soccer, den meet me for The Simpsons Movie at Vivocity at 2.05pm. Nice show. Both of us are such pigs, esp me, had nachos each. And we slacked at Starbucks, with me eating salad, and went amk to get my fruit juice, where we eat again!

Omg, think i put on so much calories, so i shall watch wat i m eating these 4 weeks. Fat fat ger! Hmmz, baby's mum say i slimmed. That was ytd! Gosh!

I wan to watch the 881 and the 1408! Wanted to go kbox wif boy today, but he is not feeling well. I hope he can faster be more free, and pei me more! I wan more of his attention. Haha, like any other gers, we are attention seeker.

I hope the blemishes on my face can get lost soon. I want my pretty skin back soon. Therefore, more fruit juices and more slp for me. Lesser stress please!

Had the company d n d on 14th aug, was a fun night, spent 55 bucks doing my hair though. Went to bar none to chill, but after dat we went to the pump room. Hahaz. Fun with GM, Jamie, Don, Huzaini, CY.

Dear, i love u. whenever i look back into my life with u ard, i felt the bliss. But now, i feel nth. I feel so bored, and my life seemed meaningless. I hope more attention from u. However, u may say, it is due to your work, everything will be fine soon. But, when u finish ur ns, u will be back to dat factory n work again. N my life will continue lidat...I noe u love me, n i love u too, but, our past memories are the ones accompanying me when u r not ard.

Work is so tiring for me.... but i m loving it. However, i have not gotten my confirmation letter. Work is sth for me to get rid of my loneliness...

Alvin kok, i hope u r mine truely. I wan more security n more love from u. I dont noe how long more i can hold on to this... I noe u r very tired from all this working, and missing me, but when i understands u, do u understand what i m going through? I m just a fragile ger, who needs my boy beside me as well.

Happy Birthday Singapore! This is the second year baby n i joined the rehearsal, enjoyed ourselves, watching the fireworks! So sweet

My colleague is very weird these days. The way he speaks to me! Hai.... I hope he can be alright.

Many of us look at things on the surface, we nvr try to look deeper into the things we see wif our eyes. There is a lack of trust between us, that I shld try to inject more for him.

I love him, and is real thankful to his creative gift of the webcam, and the sweet note.

Watched "alone" with my colleagues, jamie, me, cheeyang and don. Haha, jamie n i had great time screaming. I tot my screams cant b heard, but the guys claimed they heard mine, not jamie's. Well, if i watched more than 1/4 of the show, i sure cry.

Today sux. Had some company with 1000 people coming to release fishes. It makes us damn unhappy. Thx to my colleagues, :). We transport 250 chairs over, tough work.

Tired argh! Tml is set up, den ndp, den fishing com, den dnd.... den 7th mth... Busi!

Argh, had a tiff wif baby again! This is my one n only weekend off this mth, as I had been taking too much weekends off for the past 2 mths, but, baby's company has been cocking up his time to meet me, so i got so fed up wif him, and had attitude problems.

Haiz. time wif him is always so limited, yet we got so much things to do together. I bought my d n d dress today, and my clutch. Baby is angry wif me for not listening to his comments, and becoz of dat, i bought the dress I dislike. Haiz. But, i feel, i shld show more confident when wearing dat.

I love him still, but i feel heartache, so badly, esp when he said he feels like scolding me. I know its my fault for showing attitude, but i waited for u the whole day. :(

Tml i m working alone. I am thankful to my colleagues for helping me so much, esp when they know I hurt my wrist. Thanks.

Past few weeks have been relatively rocky for me. 22nd, the Primers D n D, was a big and unmemorable day for me. I was damn tired, but i went instead, as I know boy wants me to go. However, later in the day, he told me he sold the tickets back to the organisers, but when i insist i want to go, he says Pamela is going. I know right frm the start you had given her the tickets....

After dat D&D, baby and I have a big fight, over a stupid taxi driver. I trusted baby to give him directions,and the driver is stepping on his accelerator, thats y i dont wan him to overshoot, and i shouted to ask him to stop.

Baby n I quarreled, and he turned n leave me at the bus stop. Yes, I hate him at that time. I almost got knocked down by the other taxi. With teary eyes, I was damn sad. He ran back, and we spoke. That night, he wanted a break, refused to pick up my phone n stuffs, i cant slp till 4.30am, so i cab down to his hse and wake him up.Everything was cleared up.

25th, i check in tot he resort room, and waited for him to come, which was alrd 6pm. We went for dinner, rent a bicycle. We slpt ard 2am. The next morning, we went for breakfast at Mac, swimming and check out.

Went to buy some stuffs for my work, and we dine at Jack's Place at AMK. Its a virgin try for both of us, its a nice ambience.

My colleague is back from his trip, i dont know y, mayb he feels I m different alrd. Which is like, obviously. I heard from Yvonne on last sunday, that my company has confirmed me, but I am not so sure how true it is. But my colleague is promoted to Officer, congrats.

I hurt my wrist, and I am thankful for everyone's concern. Went singing with my boss they all again at Changi Airport 2 days ago. Had a great time.

I hope he dont hurt me again. I dont wan to think so much le. I hope things can be better. I feel very tired, i hope he can protect me, plan ahead of me, be my big brother, a best fren, and a great boyfriend to me.

Aww, u r sweet.Thx boy. Today is full of ups n downs. Baby told me ytd, dat his plan for 26th, is to have a resort room at ECP, or to go out to sea on the yacht. He planned to set aside a buget of 1k for the annivesary.

"It is not abt the money i spend on u. As u know, money is impt to businessman, but to me, u r more impt den money." This is wat he told me.

Blur boy, dint know how to book a yacht n the procedures, so i told him, but we decided to go for ecp instead, coz much worth it. Yacht can wait, coz i wan to go on it for my wedding. :)

I was pissed wif him ytd n today, for putting me aeroplane. But today,although he put me aeroplane n meeting me so late, i bought the wallet for him, finally, after searching almost all departmental stores. He says he love it.

I cried at marina square, coz i was so tired. he make me wait for him for 3hrs alone, and i spend 200 bucks in dat 2 hrs. Most of the things are for him. But i bought a nice fox jacket, dat baby oso say he likes it alot.

Anyway, ytd n the day b4, was talking to cy on msn abt some stuffs. I guess my dear colleagues are having their tongues wagging again. Hmmz. And Seri was dismissed. Sad.

Its 20-07 today, so being a hot date, i have a wedding at workplace. this couple is damn poor thing, yet lucky.The poor things are us, who pratically do the set up twice. So tiring. N the pool competition... I hope everything will be alright tml.

Ok, now i shall go prepare stuffs for our 2 yrs.... Shall not blog here, coz in case bee bee sees

My Wishlist goes on....

1. Sony Cybershot T100
2. Samsung Ultra 10.9
3. Ipod Video
4. Mac Laptop
5. Anna Sui makeups
6. Clinique Skincare

I miss him, my boy. Thx for the reassurace u gave me, abt the day at doby ghaut. I know u treasure me alot, and from the words u mentioned abt not giving me up, and that i m ur everything. U are sweet.

My colleague is going overseas alrd, n i m feeling stress from my work. Gosh, i duno how, seriously. Everything sux man. I have cough today. Lucky its not a bad one, but i duno why, i was damn quiet today, mayb i m too stress. Like wat my colleague said, everyone shld help one another, but i have no idea y, its always we help them, n nvr the other way round.

I feel i have grown today. :) Just dat, i miss him. Baby, NS is coming, i wan to treasure my time spent wif u....

Its just u n me, standing in the middle of doby gaught's station, hugging, looking into each other eyes, feeling our special feeling rising with love around us, just u n I....

I know i spolit the whole feeling, coz i was shy. Serious. I do know i love u, and everything is going on fine now, but pls understand me, i dun wan to give u empty promises, that I can last wif u for 2 yrs, i dun wan to hurt ur heart. Since young, i only hated, love, is sth i find in ur family, and on u.

Therefore, pls rmb,
'darling, no matter wat happen in future, pls rmb, there is a ger, whom u have loved, have love u alot too'

There is no promises, but there is a strong belief. i know u belief that we will be strong, but i have not much faith. Pls understand me, if in future, i have to leave u, but it will not be my intention.

Today my off day, wake up after 11 hrs of slp, had breakfast, and went for driving, after dat, meet my baby and den we separated to go to PS where i celebrate my dad's bdae for him.

Watched Die hard 4, nice show, at least its the first show my dad dint fell aslp... hahaz... tml got training, after dat my colleague will leave for his vacation, in which, it might be my growing up period. :)

It is part of the very fond memories i wish to keep in here, in which, ytd we had a dinner with Jamie, GM, Huzaini, CY, Jov, den went to kbox at parkway. Was damn unhappy with the remote controller we had, so we got them to change, we sing till 12.30am.

I got 1/2 day to work today. Was damn shocked to see the number of emails i received. Like i tot to myself, when CY is not ard, when Jamie is not ard, its the time for me to grow up in the company. Its either i pass, or i fail. I shall be strong, and work my way through.Dear God, please watch over me. Eileen, Gambatte!

I love u baby. I hope u can be stronger, and recover soon. Miss u alot. I hope u can work lesser, and pei me more. Hehe. I know u oso want.

I shall eat lesser carbohyadrates, less calories, exercise more,drink more water n vegetables, and keep a healthy lifestyle,so that i can go backpacking once my stamina is built up, i want to go taiwan and thailand soon.

Went to dentist last friday, spent $155 on it, freak la. But it is a consolation to know i do not have wisdom tooth, from the x-ray I took. However, i guess my gum overstretched, no still hurts. :( But i got a nice filling in my mouth, no black black.

I want my skin to recover, i miss my fair skin, my flawless face. I shall work harder to it, slp earlier.

I feel so stressed when working, coz i scared of causing trouble, but like baby had said, i nid to be responsible.

I want to go Backpacking!!!

I want to go backpacking! It has been my dream since young, to enjoy the fun of having freedom to roam the around the countries, without having to go back to the same hotel to slp, and bring the personal belongings around, makes me mroe secured.

Brought this idea up to mich just now, but like wat she said, gers cant go alone, we nid guys, mayb to help us carry our stuffs? But, i want to go Thailand to backpack, the place full of interesting stuffs to explore.

How how? I need to find someone to pei me go. I know, there is people who tell me, go with my bf. The point is, he is gg NS soon, and he dun have time. :(

Hai, I shall aim for nov, mayb ard my birthday. Yup. Hopefully the ladies can make time for it.

I m a lucky ger, to have the company of wh, ken n vin, to watch transformers with me. I would rate it 4.5/5, given that i cant understand the ending. haha, nice 2.3 hr show, much better den king kong.

Watched the 9pm show, reached home ard 12pm. Thanx baby, for sending me home. Sweetheart, i love u. I know, u know, I m drifting apart. But i m giving both of us a chance, for us to work out better.

I rmbed the days, when i go to henderson park to find u, i will sacrifice everything for u, coz u r my everything. Today, u r still my everything, coz u make my world goes ard.

Like u say, u will love me no matter what. Unless there is someone who loves me like u do, if not u will nvr let me go.

Off day tml, shall skip tml morning, den study for my test, 3pm test, den slack till 8pm, den go for practical. I need the perseverance, and courage to drive the car again. I wan to go backpack tour, so i need my licence.

God bless, to grant me the courage, and perseverance, the energy and the patience, to do well in my test and the practical lesson tml.

Work update: Was slacking for the past 2 days, coz don was not ard, and its JULY, yes, july has only 6, so not much set up to do. I m loving it though. Hahaz. Cant imagine the days, to how i m gg to cope, without the pillars of the dept, when they leave me to go overseas. Nvm, i shall put myself though, to be a better person.

I shall slp earlier....

We broke up on 26th June, and patch back on 30th June. I love u. But so what, i feel our thinking are so different. My colleagues are saying, we get to interact wif more pple. I do agree that love makes things revolves ard our world. But, ever since i stepped into this society, though i love to be in love with u, and i know no one will love me like u do, however, we just have communication problem.

I just feel, i shld give both of us another chance, to work things out peacefully. This might be our last chance, for us to know, if we are really suitable. U r a great guy, the love of my life. I hope we can improve our communication problem.

Thx to my colleagues who had been wif me and accompanying me. I m glad some of u show concerns to me. I want to work harder, to do my best. :)

I love u, i really do. But since u want a break, I have to accept, dragging on might just make us more sad. I feel very upset, but wat to do?

Went to bedok wif don, huzaini and CY on sat, talked till 1am den Huzaini n CY send me home.

Just now went Isetan wif jamie to buy stuffs.

I hope we still can continue.

Thx baby, for pei me, going dinner wif my colleagues ytd.

Went to watch fantastic four today, wif don, cheeyang, clara. Sat between clara n cheeyang, they say go century watch, coz the seats are bigger, true, my first trip there.

Went to sea sports centre for the first time today, coz cheeyang borrowed car from Mr Don. hahaz. I hope to get my driving done soon. Hope can reschedlue everything soon.

I am happy wif my job so far. Learnt to be more responsible le. Baby's mum say i slimmed down alot. Dats great! Hahaz.

To Alvin

I will never know, if i will be able to find another person like u, showering me everything u have, although u have nth.

I rmb how i met u, in that bbq we had in east coast park.

I rmb the days, that we were not officially together, I go to ur hse to study wif u.

I rmb the day, of which u asked me to be ur girl.

I rmb the day, dat we break a week after officially together.

I rmb my 18th bdae, when u used all ur pay to buy me the phone i desired.

I rmb the days, that we go shopping, u gave me the encouragement to try new clothes.

I rmb the days, after my corn operation, the day dat u piggie back me across the overhead bridge of the poly at 6am in the morning on the first day of our exams. The days dat u walked with me slowly in school when i took 30 mins instead of the usual 10 mins.

I rmb the days, that I go to your hse in the wee hrs of 4am, to study wif u. The nice cup of coffee plus milo u make, studying econs and accts wif u, while u guide me to ensure i pass my modules.

I rmb the days, dat i go to bukit merah, to eat ur meals wif u during ur attachment.

I rmb the days, dat we go rehearsal together.

I rmb the days, i cried in ur shoulders.

I rmb the days, u cooked scallop porridge for me. The fried rice you cooked for 4 hrs.

I rmb the days, that we cook baked rice together.

I rmb how i cried, when i first know u have to go china trip.

I rmb how many times we quarrelled, how many times we laughed like mad.

I m glad i have u in my life. No matter wat happens in future, these are the memories we have together, something no one can take away from us.

I love u.

Today is an exciting day. Went to work, pack the store wif my colleague, we dint go for ops meeting. Den we saw the work tornado, and 3 of them. Hahaz.

Den went RSN to buy food, tried their fish noodle.

After dat, there was such a serious accident outside the work place, dat our off work was delayed from 6 to 8pm, reached home at 9 instead.

Happy day.

Although poor me still got to go rehearsal during my off day, but got my super 'nice' costume. Hahaz, guess it will be a good reason for me to go on extreme diet, if not i will nvr fit in to it.

Dear, thx. I am happy with my loot, 2 bras from la senza, 1 dress and 1 top, 6 pairs of socks and 1 jelly pump. Hahaz. Spent ard $100+ lor. We had yuki yaki at marina, yummy, i shall try the ice cream next time. Muz!

Baby helped me to carry my loots the whole day, xin ku le. Muackx.

Tml gg work again. I am so tired. :( nite nite

Happy Birthday to Chee Yang... I know he is sick of me always asking him the same qn, " is there anything for me to do?"

hahaz. Today lunch, went to changi village wif GM, jamie, Huzani and chee yang, den dinner we have don to join us as well at Bedok. Hahaz. Lunch was treated by Mr Sim, Dinner was treated by Chee yang, coz he claimed he passed his ippt wif $200.

I feel so bad today, caused so much trouble for Mr Don, abt Leonard's case and Stefanie's case. I hope i can do well. :( Stressed.

Jamie is a fun lady. hahaz. I kinda miss her when she took her 2 days of off.

I was very shocked, Chee yang can actually see thru wat i thinking, mayb he studies psychology

Ytd baby and i said our part, i cried for 2 hrs. I told him the reasons le, and we giving each other 3 more mths, starting on 6th june 2007. thx for understanding. Muackx.

Saturday my off day, i hope ndp will ends earlier....

The 40th Anniversary celebration was a success, all the preparations, staying up and working for 22 hrs non stop, was filled with fun. Jamie, Chee Yang and i slpt at the same room on 2nd june, hahaz, i kicked jamie's butt...

I slpt only 2 hrs dat day, b4 working again. I have been cancelling my driving classes, coz i m really too tired to go lehz.

He is in indonesia. He gave me his blog, of which, i read le, i noe he wans to tell me wat he is thinking, and how much gers he had let down, and he wun let me down. I appreciated it, thx. However, there are sth more to it.

Talked to kris and kaiyan, and mich, they told me, i shld give him up for a while, to see if we realli suits or not. I duno. I will wait for him to come back, den we shall sit down n talk.

I duno y, the feeling is not there.

Chee Yang and i worked today only, don is off, jamie too. Tml only me n jamie working, gosh, i pray tml dun hae much calls, if not i sure go bersak.

I lose 5kg in 3 weeks.

Dear, i need to feel the security from u, coz i still cant feel it, after almost 2 yrs. Pls prove me wrong.

I enjoyed my work.

Dear, happy 22nd mth. I have been very happy these mths, becoz of u.

My boy is jealous today, Dear dint like the idea of me gg overseas without him. Actually, if july, i would go overseas wif boy, coz our 2nd anniversary. I like backpack tour, but mayb its not appropriate to do so la.

Boy n I talked at TM today, abt our future. 2 years is not easy. I just started work for 2 weeks, and both weekends, i either complained i m having headache or very sick. I feel tired, coz the energy spent. I got sunburnt today.

It is such a relief to see, the decorations made by me, being sent to the breakwater, for the couples. The weather is nice.

Oh ya, I saw dat tornado ytd. We saw it at the cafe, nice view. Boss oso say his first time to see such a big one.

I hate it when u leave me.

I hate it when pple change their numbers without telling me, even though we were ex bf-gf or even normal frenz.

I get scared during my first driving lesson on tues. Although he was there to watch me.

I bought focus dailies contact lens. Supposedly to be $37/ box, i bought 2 boxes, and i get to buy at $58++. Hahaz, cheap, 50% discount, coz i told dem my previous job.

I m seriously lacking slp. I need more rest. My arms aches from all the moving of chairs, esp tml st enginnering coming. I hope i can do well in tml's driving.

Tata... slping time.

Thx baby. U make me a princess ytd. U say i am very soft spoken ytd, coz i was having headache. Hahaz...

Talking abt headache, i got it thru a wedding preparations on sat. Despite all our hard work, the rain decides to pour on the ceremony, ruin the first wedding i do. Although i saw the initial happy faces, i was glad i dint stay back and see the disappointed faces.

Baby bought a psp ytd, a black one. I shall buy one if i feel its better den nintendo. He hugs me and wishper to me. Love the nice feeling. However, i noe the feeling wun last de, coz u r leaving me again, to indonesia. :( Sadden.

Lucky i m preoccupied by my work, events and stuffs, and my driving sessions at night.

Ytd show. Ju shi hao B is nice, i was so tempted to have a kid too. Haha, but i know its just my temporary urge la.

I am looking forward to August, where everything will be over, and baby will be mine for a full mth, b4 he goes in to NS. Although he got his own money now, but i m not happy. Haiz, mayb dats wat pple meant by, the rich might not be happy, the poor might not be sad.

Mich's bdae coming soon. Argh, i nid to get my $1800 soon. God bless, dat i will not be shaken by the Great Singapore Sale. I wan to return the money by July. I want to get confirmed by my present company. I love working wif the colleagues. Today the whole management team leave on time, wahaha. Not becoz we have nth to do, but we need a rest. :)

Hope tml's driving lesson will be a success.

today is the 17th of may, my parents 21st anniversary.

It has been 2 days since i see him, tml i shall get my chance le.

I had been having fun. Well, my conclusion is i like to work wif guys. I noe baby is not happy if i am gg to tell him, but dats true. When i worked in my first n previous company, the management of females realy make the environment realli sux. But currently, i feel, thx to chee yang and don.

I love my job now, today starting to do set ups alrd. Love it. I hope i can do my best in it.

I cant wait to see u dear, muackies

I love u. Although u make me damn unhappy ytd... Sori i dint go for the course today, coz i was realli tired.

I have started work. I love the place, the scenery, the fun. Its so much different from my previous jobs. I hope i can do better. Don n chee yang are nice pple. :)

Thx baby, i hope u can be more understanding.

Special day

I bet baby is the happiest person ytd...

Ytd is mother's day. It has been ages since the whole family go out to eat, dad's first time to amk hub, had dinner at jubillie, we watched "spiderman 3" together. It has been so many years...

Den over the dinner, brother told mum n dad abt him having a gf, den i oso tell dem i got bf... After almost 2 years. Haha.

I love u pple.

Finally he is back... i had missed u utterly. I went to buget terminal, and figure out how to get there...

Baby is so happy to know mac launched his favourite double fish burger again. Hahaz. So we caught a bite there.

B4 dat i went to sch to repair my laptop. Well, my laptop decides to work well once i reached sch. Idiot. But i enjoyed the terriyaki butter rice with cold salad, yummy!

Staying over at his hse today, to pei him, but my dear prince has to go in malaysia now to settle somethings, I hope he comes back peacefully. Love u. I m hungry now, i hope u got telepathy n buy sth back...

Argh, 2 more days to ur return...

Baby, faster reply my email pls... I nid to know which job i should choose. I got so many advices...

Job A i got grace, kaiyan, kris, elaine (GV)...
Job B i got martin, rong, wahman, xinzi, ana...

Mayb those with more life experience, and full of enegery would wan me to take up job B... Coz xinzi, wahman, ana and me are all from marketing... Well, i would like to heed advices from more sincere frenz soon.

I nid to reply dem tml. I hope i make the right decision....

Tml i m gg for theory trial test wif kris, while she attends her driving session. Hahaz.

baby, pls check ur flight details, dun take the wrong flight woah. Muackx, look forward to ur return. Cant wait to spend the weekend wif u.

Oh ya, Mr Yik ('my cute mr yik' according to wahman) sent us an email, i was shocked. I guessed it shocked alot of the ex students too. Well, i m seriously looking forward to this degree course. Although np is not the only polytechnic wif business, but this degree is exclusive. I hope i can get the opportunity soon.

I need help to this qn:
If u have 2 jobs offers, which one will u choose? Job A --> PR job, normal very easy job no challenge, very difficult to travel to, mon to fri job, can pei bf n plenty of private time. Job B --> Events assistant, fun filled job, career advancement chance, easy to travel to, stressful environment, many responsibilities, no time for bf as have to work irregular hours.

2 more days to his return, and i m seriously looking forward to it...

Argh, i m dying for a job soon. I have mother's day, mich's bdae, our 2nd anniversary to save up n paid for. I wan to give baby a surprise, but 26th is on thurs, idiot, mayb discuss wif him see if can take time off.

Went for interviews these 2 days, i hope to get dat PR job, sounds nice. Praying hard.

Been gg interviews with kaiyan. Gg out wif her is cheaper, saves alot.

Considering to go to makeover with her, to keep my youth, but i wan to slim down first.

Counting down to 5 days later....

I finally completed reading thru my final theory book, and done my ib stuffs. Finally! Tml is TTT i hope i can pass, and i can do well, register for more practical lessons n pay for my final theory fee.

I spend $50 a day, always wif the gers, i will spend so much. Baby, arent u suppose to reimburse for me too? Coz while killing time without u, i spent time shopping with the gers. Bought a bright red hp pouch, did pedicure. Went to CP den to AMK den back to CP...

Happy to see pj, mich, kris n elaine. Although meet at different timing, but its happy to see them again.

Baby, faster come back. I m missing u like crazy alrd. My luck hasnt been gd. Ytd went to POC camp, dint stay over. Played dat 'flying fox', my palm kena 3 blisters, of which one burst.

*cross fingers. I hope whatever i do, i will b able to succeed. 5 more days....

It has been 5 days since i last saw u. Being wif u, since 26/7/2005, nvr have i been away from u this long. Ur calls from china, makes me happy, yet sad at the same time.

I m happy, that u have been doing well, learning is part n parcel of life, having a career of ur own.

I guess u muz be happy to hear i have registered for my driving. Daddy just transferred money to my acct, then i shall go to hougang mall lata, to do transferring. Argh, my IB device havnt arrive, if not i can transfer to my maybank acct. Hai...

I m bored to death, damn lazy to go out now. i completed my lesson 3 liaoz, today shall try complete lesson 4, but my freaking lappy sound system spolit le.

Camp starts tml.... 6pm at np canteen 2.

I spend a fortune today, alot alot. $290. I opened a new acct today, did my ibanking for 2 banks. Happy. But the $290 is spent in my driving. Booked for my advanced theory, den 3 sessions of practical lessons, all at night, followed wat my baby had done.

Baby, i miss u alot. I hope u r doing well over there, tc of urself pls. I bought a new organiser, to keep myself organised wif my driving scheldues, i dun wan b like boy boy, always forget to go for his classes.

Mummy accompanied me to do all thse things today. I wanted so much to tell her abt my bf, but she dint understand me. Baobei, i m sorry.

Ytd went out wif elaine n kris, after dat kel came. I see them so happy and xinfu, i feel happy for dem, coz they get to enjoy the times baby n i used to have.

Having a bf who is a GM is not easy, i have much more to put up wif, i muz b strong. I can no longer b dependent on him, b spolit by him or b loved by him as n when i wans. Dats the price to pay. But, i m contented wif wat i have and had.

Love is missing from me, it has followed my baby boy to China. Oh ya, i went for the course i saw my school mate, siying, the ger in my eyar 3 last sem class... Heard her story in the class room.

I went Compass point with mum, den meet elaine. She n kel quarrel, after dat ok le. So envy, at least got chance to quarrel.

Msg primers related pple, to tell dem alvin's matters to contact me, coz baby wun b able to appear so soon. I miss him.

I bought Jolin's music cd, impluse buying. But i also bought a new book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I think baby will be very happy to noe i nvr regret buying this book, and i m seriously reading this book now, unstanding the facts, esp after gg thru the money n u course.

Wh n ken is sooo sweet, i realli miss the times lidat. But nvm, my future is lidat le, so get used to it.

i m back from the 3 days course in JB, ' Money and U'. I am missing u like crazy now....

This is crazy, writing chinese words for 3 days, slping less den 4 hrs everyday, studying for more than 15 hrs each day, sick for 3 days with high fever, cough etc. Gosh, wats more crazy den this...

I wouldnt say i benefited much from the course, but i can always go back for revision.

But i benfit from gg for the course, whereby, baby knew i was sick, and he took special care for me. Thx dear. The little piggy inside him, dint let him slp, he took care of me for 2 nights, whenever i toss or move, he will wake up and us me " u ok?"... Sweet of u baby..

These 3 days have been very rush n tiring. I m finally back to the comfort zone of my parents. Daddy gg China tml.

Baby just reached china, i hope he can survive through, i love u darling. I hope to see the new u soon. I got his name card, Alvin Kok, General Manager. Sounds nice? He drives me ard in malaysia in the 6 seat car, woohoo.

After his china 8 days 7 nights trainings, with slp of less den 20 hrs in total, he will be sourcing for raw materials wif his dad, den come back spore, b4 gg to indonesia. Busi boy.

I hope he can do well. Oh ya, he got his NS letter, 15 Sept. I m happy, coz not too late, at least he can finish his NDP. I miss the days with him. 11 days without him, plus duno how many days, how to survive?

Where is my pigotong....

I miss u. Why u haven called me since this morning? Usually u will call me de, worried....

I went for 3 interviews today, first to somerset for loreal, den to tanjong pagar for tempserv, den to novena for the client's. Met kaiyan in tanjong pagar, wanted to meet her in tampines, but my interview took 1/2 hr, and i spoke to a prudential personel abt my plans to make investments...

On my way home, the rain was coming, i was lucky to avoid the heavy downpour. However, when i was walking home from bangkok mrt, the lightning and thunder scares me, coz beside me there is no one, but trees, gosh, what will happen to me if the lightning comes down?

2 more days to my course in JB. I hope i can learn well and benefit from it. I m nto sure if i shld go to POC camp. There is high elements n stuffs, sounds fun, sth i nvr ever tried b4. Considering......

Baby is uper sweet, to call me 4 times from malaysia... Thx dear, i really miss u.

I have been slacking at home today. Nice rest.

Life is abt going through ups and downs, setting a standard for ourselves, to conquer problems in front of us. Without training, life will not have shine.

Bill Gates wun earn millions overnight.

This is what i have learnt from the 11pm show on jade. One dun live for another, people die everyday, but its abt how we face it.

Poly life has ended, and i have play my life thru these few mths, accomplishing nth. My frenz have enrolled into uni, some have gone overseas to studies, the guys are gg NS, each of us living our lifes differently.

Nobody is similar, all of us are unique, so is our life. I shall make my life different from others, if others can accomplish sth, I will make mine special.

Interviews this week, i hope to get a job i can make my mark, or at least i love the job and can do well in it... God, bless me, and watch over my boy in malaysia.Amen.

I need a perm job soon. Argh! Sorry linclon, i cant help u work tml coz i m realli very tired.

Baby, thx for everything. U are super sweet to bring jacket for me and buying me dinner, despite of u slippering. I love u, thx.

I think i shall start a new acct to safe up. I pray that mummy will allow me to go for the money and u course this weekend, i dun wish to disappoint my baby.

What is Love?

Is relationship abt getting everyone's approval? Or isit a matter between 2 person?

Will love last long, and couples will build trust forever between them?

I duno what i wan. I got a nice loving bf, but i feeling something is lacking between us.

Went to SBF today to get clariz to sign my timesheet, went cityhall to submit timesheet and trim my eyebrow, den went to orchard, waited for faith for 1 hr while i comb the whole ngee ann city.

Well, today's walking is so much, after meeting my sec sch gers, we walk from orchard to doby guaght, with much walking in between. I feel so happy, coz i means i get more exercise and towards my goal to slimming.

We took neoprint, and had fun talking abt relationship problems. Kristen is a poor case, she n sam... Hai... I hope elaine n her soon to be bf can work. God, please watch over them.

I hope to see my bf tml, coz its sat finally....

Missing u like mad...

Finally, i m gg for my off day tml, need to settle my pay wif sbf and go eyebrow trimming tml at penisula plaza. Den mayb meet faith or my secondary sch gers...

I wish baby can come back tml, den i wun miss him so much le.

Work has been fun, though no sales, no comission. Only getting basic. But i love to speak to my dear frenz promoters, mei xian and jay lloyd. Haha, jay lloyd is a crapper, little boy boy. He is taller den us, but he is 2 yrs younger den me, full of craps boy. Nice fren to know. Mei xian is a pretty ger oso.

Baby, faster come back, ur ger ger missing u.... haiz.

umph

I gonna miss him for days... Argh, i miss poly life, when i can attend lectures wif him, meet for lunch, den go his hse ton.... He is mine for hours...

But now? His dad's factory is in malaysia, so he has to go there to help, from mon to fri, meaning i got no means to contact him, den sat is ndp day, leaving sunday for him only. I dun like this, this is worse den NS, and i am having like pre NS training?

He should b in the army le. My dearest boy.

Work has been alright for me, i hope sales can be better tml, so i can earn more $. I need to save up, and i wan to go bintan wif my gers, and japan wif my baby. I wan dat burberry shawl. Gosh, so many things to buy, and i m saving nth so far. Shall curb my tempations.

Had the first foot massage ytd. Nice massage, and i drank lots of water after dat. Tata, shall slp earlier

My nasty cough is not bringing me anywhere... Argh, i have been coughing for like 1 week? Now i seem to have adam's apple, coz the throat is so tight, even when i swallow my saliva.

Finished my work wif sbf last friday, had been working wif freshkon on sat till today... Ok la, hit a sky high results on sat, 175 boxes, yeah! And 116 boxes on sunday. Today was very bad.

Watever the case, i n happy to know a few frenz over the weekends, in sbf i noe louis, gillian etc.... And in bugis roadshow, i noe uncle gary, mango, sebestian and some b n l pple. Today i noe j&J's Daniel, another cute guy from NAPFA (i forget his name alrd), Nichalos Foo, Mei Xian... They are damn nice pple...

Went dinner after work wif Nic and Mei Xian, with their senior from their agency, had fun talking abt Jes, n her habits of touching guys. Gosh, she even ask Nic to b her bf. WoW! Nice to know these frenz.

I pray freshkon wun gimme so much pressure, and i get to have an off day tml. Coz i m serious sick n i need to rest... Praying hard.

Loves***

I love my baby. Got back the feeling again, just by getting hug by him.

I love the pepper lunch at AMK hub. Great service, and nice food. My first time dining at Pepper lunch, tried the curry pepper lunch. The service staff is nice, to help us do the cooking. And she is so polite. When boy went to buy desserts for me, another staff came over and help us clear our desk, and even ask abt how we found the food!

Well, other then the part that the price do not include gst, their service is way better den those places that requires me to pay service charges yet providing sucking services.

Today is fun filled day, just dislike my work. Counting down to 2 more days.... Might be getting MC tml for my cough, coz i not feeling well. But come again, i get lesser $. :(

Dear, i m sorry. I read your sms to me, ytd night, "i wanna meet ur parents".

So far, wif my ex bfs, i have nvr show them to my parents, or make known to them i m attached.

I will pluck up my courage to tell dem asap. I noe u wan to find ur ego back.

I have been growing my butt in the office... Friday faster come.... Faster...

I need a new job soon.

Sick!! Argh, i feel so dehydrated of water. Its good to drink lots of water, but not when u feel heaty, and sore throat.

:( Thx to my gers frenz and my baby boy. All of them are sick, and spread them to me. Baby dint pei me today, he made me go down vivo after work, and make me walk ard wif his dad's frenz.

Well, i wouldnt mind, if u dun mention dat i shld cross my arms, i shouldnt let him carry my handbag coz his mum says so....I shouldnt...

Shldnt a guy help his beloved carry her handbag? Does carrying it make him turn into a sissy? So i assume if dats the case, den there aren't any more gentlemen in this world as all of them turned into gays?

I just dun understand...

My work is so tedious, i m tired, just to meet u, i endured my tiredness, yet i getting nth but sadness out of my effort. I seriously dun understand wats in ur brains.

Argh, I hate weekdays. Baby went in to malaysia, i m going to work again. :(

Ytd was fun wif the gers, we met at 3.30 at PS, went to kfc for tea, den to cafe cartel for dinner, and caught Meet the Robinsons. Nice show. " Keep Moving Foward".

Went to baby's hse just now, had a shock, after 1 day of renovation, the hse became an office. Lol, sian, next time i go there i cant watch tv le. Boo!

I m looking forward to u coming out. Muacks. I hope tml workload will be lesser and they can let me leave the company asap.

I am super amazed by this website. http://jpoptrash.nihon-fr.com/chirurgiens/chirurgiens.htm

A person's looks, determines how the public will look at them, and it will impact on the self-confidence. I am quite inspired to do a make over, mayb not plastic surgery, as i m afraid of operations and doctors, and its a hassle to look after the wounds.

Emo today...

We had a quarrel. After tons of work, and resignation, i went to agency to hand in my timesheet. Called him to meet for dinner, but lazy pig wans to nua at home, as he says he had been walking ard his dad's factory until he very tired.

I am oso tired woah, 8 persons workload. Well, how unfair can they be. They are going to replace 2 persons to overtake me. Haiz. No choice.

Then i decided to buy MOS burger for him at AMK hub, i ran all the way, wif a starving stomach, den to find the cash on me is insufficient. So i practically ran ard the mall to look for a freaking ATM. Haiz.

When i reached his hse, i felt fainty and i dint spoken a word. He says i dao him, and make him angry. Well, i m kind to buy dinner for u woah.

A meal with u is all i asked for, and we had serious miscommunication resulted. What else can i say?

Lucky we solve the problem calmly. :) And he sent me home again.
I hope we can speak our thoughts next time...

Mayb i m not ready to earn for my own keep. I am a bad saver, spending lots.

i quited my job at SBF alrd. I felt so outcasted as a temp there, and my workload is just 3 of the ex temp staffs. Now, there is another temp staff leaving again, and he work is actually 3 persons job, now loaded on top of me liaoz...

Wif such kns pay, i think i m seriously underpaid. Haiz. so i told my supervisor i m quiting alrd. By right i can leave on monday, but i decided to leave on friday instead, to let them have a chance to get someone to settle for them.

Freshkon... Mayb i wan to consider.... Hopefully i get the job i want soon...

Sometimes i noe u are aware, both of us cant forget our ex... But the love between us, does exist, but mayb not as fresh or new like our first love.

I read the book of our past to present, and abt royston and me, those are history. I love the past u, and oso the present u. I hope u will improve to be better...

卓文宣&黃鴻升(小鬼) - 爱的主旋律 (full mv)是你在那個雨季 闖進我生命帶著一點任性和迷路的表情是你在那個雨季 趕走了孤寂溫暖的手融化還我僅有的堅定天上億萬顆星星 我卻只看見妳要說這是幸運 還是不可思議身邊有太多風景 我卻停在這裡說我傻的可以 還不是因為你是妳的聲音 帶給我勇氣戀愛的頻率 直達我心底如果妳願意 是的我願意來做我幸福的主旋律從前都是謎 現在我相信天空會放晴 愛會更甜蜜如果妳願意 是的我願意愛的主旋律 永遠唱下 卓文宣&黃鴻升(小鬼) - 爱的主旋律 (full mv)是你在那個雨季 闖進我生命帶著一點任性和迷路的表情是你在那個雨季 趕走了孤寂溫暖的手融化還我僅有的堅定天上億萬顆星星 我卻只看見妳要說這是幸運 還是不可思議身邊有太多風景 我卻停在這裡說我傻的可以 還不是因為你是妳的聲音 帶給我勇氣戀愛的頻率 直達我心底如果妳願意 是的我願意來做我幸福的主旋律從前都是謎 現在我相信天空會放晴 愛會更甜蜜如果妳願意 是的我願意愛的主旋律 永遠唱下去啦啦啦 ( more ) ( less )

Shocked, by Elaine telling me she n jeff break le...

Den pj told me she at elaine's hse, and elaine is drunk and slping...

The next minute, elaine is awake and talking rubbish to me online.

Follow up is abt jeff coming over her hse to pass her items back.

Tonight is so exciting, wif exciting news, when kristen is not ard.

Went to far east for lunch wif baby n his mum n bro. had dat yummy chicken rice. Den went PS play archade, which i failed terribly.

Went to amk hub to collect my specs, look so studious now.

Elaine, i hope u can be better. Wat i told to the gers on cny gathering, 20% is cfm correct le. I hope the consequences will not be serious.